Hello, Apathy
by dizzy - in - the - izzy
Summary: It was complicated, as Ziva had stated plenty of times. However, with the sudden appearance of Tony, everything needs to be straightened out before they go back to normal. Eventual Tiva. Warning: FF took out my break marks.
1. Nightmarish

**Title: **Hello, Apathy.  
**Author: **dizzy - in - the - izzy  
**Rating: **T, but there is one swear word in here. :/  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own!  
**Summary: **After three years, Ziva know's there is no way to forgive Tony for what he did. And for his sake, she hopes Gibbs never finds him.

**A/N: **So, this is my new story. I'm slowly working on it, and I hope that people will like this. I deleted it three times, and then rewrote it completely. I was very, very angry with it until about ten minutes ago. When I realized it was fine, I quickly uploaded. And now, I spent at LEAST five minutes getting the summary down. So, I'm now posting this and I'm not looking back.

I know this may be comfusing, but I promise that it will be more clear after a few chapters. You can probably get the gist of the story now, and I hope you like it.

**THANKS: **To Autumn Gray for helping me with getting a new idea. I am so glad you and I talked about your new story, "And then, it's called Grace." (which you should all check out) and helped me get this crazy idea. :D  


* * *

Noah's squeals of laughter brought joy to his mother's ears as she tickled him endlessly. The three year old had initiated this tickle fight, and now Ziva was going to end it. Lifting him up off the ground, she twirled around once and then brought him to her chest. He was still giggling, and he grabbed her shirt to keep himself from falling.

"You win!" He said loudly, and Ziva chuckled. She sat down, taking a deep breath. Noah stretched out in his mother's lap, lying across her thighs. He was supposed to be falling asleep. Instead, he was all wound up and wanted to watch a movie.

"Can we watch a movie?" He asked, jumping off her lap before she could stop him. He waddled over to the entertainment, his pants starting to fall down. He pulled them up before sitting, his wide eyes reflected in the glass as he looked for his favorite movie. Grabbing it, he turned to his mother.

"Can we watch it, please?" He held up _Lion King_, his eyes pleading. He was working on her, and she knew it. Soon, she'd be making him his favorite food (sugar cookies).

"You are supposed to be in bed." She said, and he stuck out his lip.

Now he was pulling a fast one.

"Please mommy?" He said in a sweet voice. She rolled her eyes, looking at the clock. It was his bed time, seven o'clock, and she knew that in the morning he would be cranky. Nonetheless, she popped in _Lion King_, and she smiled at his excited sound of laughter.

"Yes!" He said loudly, climbing onto the couch and sitting against the arm. He grabbed the remote, attempting to control the volume. Instead, Ziva stopped him.

"No, you do not get to control the volume." She said, picking him up and placing him in her lap. She smiled at him as he pulled his legs up to his chest, holding them closely. He twitched a couple times, moving around and getting completely comfortable. He finally settled with lying on his side, with his head on the arm. Ziva smiled, running her fingers though his light brown hair. He sighed a little as she massaged his head.

The opening scene happened, and Noah perked up. He hummed along, and Ziva laughed.

"When is daddy getting home?" Noah asked, and Ziva shrugged. She was about to pick up her cell phone when the lock sounded, and the front door opened. Noah got up in a hurry, running to his father in a happy hurry.

"Daddy!" Noah said, and Tony lifted his son off the ground.

"Hey buddy. Why are you still up?" He said, smiling at Ziva. She shook her head, pausing _Lion King _and getting up.

"Mommy let me. I'm watching _Lion King_ right now."

Tony nodded, wrapping an arm around Ziva and kissing her head.

"Hello sweet cheeks." He said, and she smiled. She took their son back, walking over to the couch and putting him on her lap. Tony took off his coat, sighing deeply before plopping down next to her. Noah pressed play on the remote, and he sank into his parents. Tony smiled down at him, rubbing his head. He swatted at his parents, intensely trying to watch the movie.

"So much like his father." Ziva whispered, and Tony grinned.

"All DiNozzo men are alike." Tony whispered back, and Noah shushed them. Ziva laughed.

"Sure." Ziva whispered before turning her attention back to the movie. Tony put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. She put her head on his shoulder, watching the movie. She stopped focusing on it after a while, and turned to look at Tony. He was watching the movie with the same intensity as Noah. Ziva smiled at her boys, running her fingers through both of their hairs. Tony smiled at her briefly before turning back to the movie. Noah didn't care as he shifted so his head was more towards her, nestling into her to get more comfortable. It was soothing to hear his breathing as Ziva let her eyes shut.

"Hakuna Matata!" Noah yelled, and causing his parents to laugh. His enthusiasm was cute, and Ziva found herself giggling. He was so cute, and so much like his father.

"Alright Simba." Tony said, causing Noah to shush him. Tony smiled at Ziva, before kissing her softly.

"I love him. And I love you." He whispered, and she smiled at him.

She leaned up to kiss him back-

* * *

Ziva sat up in bed, her breathing deep and labored. She could feel a cold sweat running down her skin, and her hair was stuck to her neck. The blankets were wrapped around legs and torso, making her feel trapped. She got up, running straight to the shower and jumping in fully clothed. The water was too hot, but she wanted to rid herself of the sweat. Hurriedly, she scrubbed the stickiness off her skin. She was halfway through when she heard Noah running in, his little voice concerned. Ziva ignored him for the moment, finishing her scrubbing and standing there, letting the water run over her.

She finally shut off the water after ten minutes, knowing that Noah had a towel for her. She stepped out of the shower, grabbing the towel he was holding up as high as he could, and shaking. Noah got up on the counter, his green eyes following his mother closely. He knew the sound. It had happened before.

"I am sorry baby." She whispered to him, touching his cheek. He was still half-asleep, his little pajama's wrinkled and shifted to the right. Ziva fixed it, her hands still shaking. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her shaking. Finally, she got her body to calm down enough to smile half-heartedly.

"It's o-kay mommy." He said, his voice tired. Ziva sighed, kicking herself. She looked at herself in the mirror, but quickly turned away.

"Get back to bed honey." She whispered, and he jumped down. Before he left the bathroom, he pulled on her towel. She crouched down, kissing his forehead. He walked back to his room, saying good night as he went. Ziva made sure she could hear his door shut before turning back to the mirror.

Cursing, she threw her towel on the ground, storming back to her room. She plopped down onto her bed, not caring about her clothes being soaked. However, she then realized it would make a huge mess in her bed and she suddenly did care. She got up, taking off her clothes and changing. She then realized her bed was soaked in sweat, and she stripped the bed. She threw the disgusting sheets in the hamper, pulling new ones out of her closet. She also threw her pillow in there, grabbing another one out of the closet as well. When she had finished making her bed again, she sighed.

She got into the bed on the opposite side, lying as close to the edge as she could. She turned onto her back, sighing.

"Fuck." She said, sitting up. She threw her blankets off her, sitting up and screaming. She fell onto the floor, grabbing her head. Her head was splitting, her body was aching, and her heart was once again threatening to blow up.

She rolled into a ball, holding her knees as she cried herself to sleep on the floor.

* * *

**A/N: **This is pretty much going to have a lot of angst in it. I'm pretty sure of that.

Don't forget to leave a review!


	2. Breakdown

**Title:** Hello, Apathy.  
**Rating:** T, but there is one swear word in here. :/  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own!  
**Summary:** After three years, Ziva know's there is no way to forgive Tony for what he did. And for his sake, she hopes Gibbs never finds him.

**A/N: **Let me clear a few things up: One, the beginning part of the first chapter WAS a dream. Slightly a nightmare. That kind of nightmare that you wish was real, but isn't. Nightmare. I don't know what else to clear up.... so I shouldn't talk too much. :D THANKS to everyone who reviewed the first part, and I hope you keep reviewing. I got many, lovely alerts and reviews. I woke up and looked, and was very happy.

**WARNING: **I would like to let you know, towards the middle of this chapter, I was actually in tears. I'd like to just put it out there: Panic Attacks/Nervous Breakdowns ARE very, very scary. Scary to watch, and scary to have. I've had a panic attack myself, and it's not fun. Just, warning you. I guess.....

On with the chapter!

* * *

Noah woke up at 8, pretty sure that his mother was supposed to be up by then. He made his way out of bed in a hurry, nearly running to her room. He didn't see her in her bed, so he walked around to the opposite side of the bed. There, he found her curled up in a ball and shaking. He grabbed a blanket quickly and pulled it over her, sitting next to her head. She looked as if she had ran her fingers down her face, and pulled on her own hair. Noah sniffed, knowing that it wasn't his place to cry. He got up, grabbing the phone and dialing one of three numbers he knew.

"Gibbs." The voice answered, and Noah sighed relief.

"Gibbs, I need your help." Noah said, looking at his mother. She was still shaking.

"Noah? What's wrong?" Gibbs said, and Noah could hear him getting ready to come help him.

"Mommy, she had another dream. She started screaming and now she's curled up on the floor and she is shaking. I'm scared." Noah said, and he heard Gibbs talking.

"I'll be there in a minute Noah. Sit next to her and make sure she doesn't leave." Noah nodded, hanging up. He moved over to his mother, putting his small hand on her forehead. She was freezing, and Noah was worried she would turn to stone. He grabbed another blanket from her closet, one that was clean, and tucked it around her. Then, he gently put a pillow next to and under her head. He curled up there, keeping his hands on her head. He was scared.

His mother had many bad nights. He would wake up some mornings to the apartment completely clean and the furniture moved. He tried asking her, but she got angry and stayed silent all day. When he asked Aunt Abby, she told him not to worry about it and that it wasn't something he worried himself with. But, Noah knew. He knew it was because of his father. He had heard Uncle Tim and Abby talking about it one day, upon accident, and he knew it was because of his father. He was sure.

Why wouldn't it be?

Noah knew that his father had left his mother when she was five months pregnant. Noah didn't know why, and he didn't understand. From what he knew, most people were happy to find out they were having a baby.

Why wouldn't his father be?

Noah pushed those thoughts to the back of his head as his mother started to whimper and shake more violently. Noah sat up, backing away from her as she started to twitch and twist on the floor. Her whimpers became half screams, and Noah felt tears on his face. He wasn't sure what to do.

He was surprised when Gibbs ran in, grabbing Ziva and shaking her. He shook her roughly, and she awoke from her trance with a start. She screamed, trying to break away from him. Noah pushed himself into a corner, holding his knees to his chest. He tried to keep his cries quiet as his mother started to cry herself, falling into Gibbs' arms. He held her close, whispering words to her that Noah couldn't hear. He still felt unsafe as Ziva gritted her teeth together to keep from screaming.

"Shh, it's okay." Gibbs said loudly, and Noah knew it was for him. He hid his face, shaking slightly. He jumped when hands picked him up, and he was suddenly surrounded by Uncle McGee. He didn't look up as he was carried out of his mothers room, and he didn't look up when he was sure McGee had sat down in the kitchen.

"Noah, I need you to look at me." McGee said, and Noah swallowed. He pulled his head from McGee's shoulder, sniffing. He was handed a tissue, and Noah used it gratefully. He let it fall on the floor though, and he kept his eyes on his own hands.

"It's okay buddy. No one will get mad at you for being scared." McGee said, and Noah took a deep breath. He didn't speak, and McGee didn't push him. Instead, he wrapped his arms around the three year old and covered his ear as Ziva screamed again. Noah started to shake again, and he couldn't stop himself as he started to cry.

He hated it when his mother was in so much pain.

Moreover, about something he didn't understand.

"It's okay now." McGee whispered, and Noah shook his head. He didn't let go of McGee's neck as he got up and walked back into Ziva's room. Now, Gibbs was sitting on the end of the bed and Ziva was lying in the middle, asleep looking. She wasn't shivering, she wasn't screaming, and she wasn't sweating. Noah looked at her, and pushed his way out of McGee's arms. Gibbs and McGee watched as he crawled up to his mother's chest, pulling back the covers and nestling into her. Gibbs couldn't help but smile at Noah's obvious love for his mother. He could almost feel tears in his eyes as Ziva wrapped her arms around her son, tears in her own eyes.

"I am sorry honey." She whispered to him, and Noah sniffed.

"It's okay mommy." He whispered before they both fell totally asleep. Gibbs looked at McGee, motioning that they should shut the lights off and leave. Gibbs knew the drill. He and McGee were equipped enough to finish cases on their own, as they had for over two months after Tony's leave and Ziva's maternity leave. When they got a new agent, Charles Upham, things only got easier. Some days, Gibbs would call for Ziva to simply stay home.

"Gibbs, are you sure-"

"They are fine McGee. We aren't leaving. There is no case, and Vance can just call us if there is." Gibbs said, sitting at the table in the kitchen. McGee followed suit, picking up the tissue Noah had used and throwing it away.

"Boss, I have a question."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow, sipping some coffee. McGee had no clue where it came from.

"What… what do you know about Tony's leaving?"

Gibbs put down his cup, taking a deep breath. He knew _lots _about Tony abandoning Ziva. He had been one of the first to be notified by a very emotional Ziva, and after that he had heard ever detail that Ziva could recall from her pregnant brain. Although, Gibbs was certain something had bigger had happened, he never pushed it.

"A lot." Gibbs said, and McGee nodded. He understood this wasn't his place, and he shifted.

"Do you think these… episodes will stop?" McGee asked, and Gibbs shrugged.

"Closure McGee. Nothing will end until there is closure."

McGee nodded, taking a deep breath and praying for closure.

* * *

**Reviews would be appreciated. :) And a great confidence booster. Writers are insecure, in a way. **

**I'll shut up now.**


	3. Comfort

**Title: **Hello, Apathy  
**Rating: **T  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own.

**A/N: **Fyi; I am balancing two IM convo's, one very nasty status conversation about bra's, and a guy who needs advice. Any mistakes are my own. Now that that is over, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the reviews on the last part. Even though FF was down, I saw them by looking on the site. They were so nice. :D Thanks, all. :D And, I promise that I will have some backstory up soon, in the form of flashbacks. :D

I personally like this chapter a lot. I like the next just as much, which I am writing right now. :D Will all you're luck, I'll update on New Years. :D

* * *

Ziva walked into work the next day, looking considerably better than she had the previous day. She had obviously taken a real shower, one that involved shampoo and soap, and washed her clothes. She sat down at her desk, smiling slightly at McGee. He smiled back, before going back to whatever he was typing. Ziva sat back in her chair, monitoring her breath. After yesterday's nightmare, and then the panic attack soon thereafter, she needed to keep herself calm. She had a thermos of tea in front of her, and it was helping greatly.

"Morning Ziver." Gibbs said, and Ziva smiled up at him.

"Morning Gibbs. Thank you, for yesterday." She said the second part quieter and Gibbs nodded.

"Noah's a smart boy."

Ziva nodded, knowing that her son was well taken care of. He was so self-sufficient at times, she thought she was dealing with another adult. Then, during times when he acted his age, she felt as if she were dealing with a child and the balance was perfect for her.

"Gear up. Dead Marine at Abrahams Preschool's playground."

Ziva looked up, slightly confused. She got up anyway, grabbing her stuff. Her partner, Charles Upham, followed her like a puppy as she made her way briskly over to the elevator. She knew the place; she had driven past there enough. Why there would be a dead Marine there, she didn't know. She heard Upham shift, and she looked at him.

"Do you have something to say?" She said, her voice calm and monotone. He shook his head, gulping. Ziva shrugged, moving out of the elevator as it stopped. She got to their car, opening it and sliding into the driver's seat.

"Just… wanted to say good morning."

Ziva nodded, not sure how to respond. Her partner had always been afraid of her. Finally, she gave him a quick smile.

"Good morning."

--

Ziva's efforts to keep herself calm were failing miserably. She could feel Upham watching her, as she knew Gibbs had told him too. She bent down next to the body, looking over his burnt and broken face. Brandon Meyers has been brutally tortured, and the worst part that from the look of things, it had all occurred on the playground. Upham was relying all of the information they had gathered to Gibbs when Ziva found the small, barely visible photo in the shirt pocket. She pulled it out, grimacing when she realized that Meyers had a wife and kid.

"Ziva?"

She looked up at Gibbs, seeing his eyes on the photo. She stood up straight, handing him the photo.

"He has a family."

Gibbs nodded at her, before moving away to talk to Ducky. Upham looked nervously at Ziva, before turning and heading over to McGee. Ziva looked down at the victim again, sighing to herself. She moved away as Ducky walked over, carefully telling Palmer to keep his feet off the body. She walked over to where Gibbs was talking to McGee about contacting the family, and Ziva put her hand on Gibbs' shoulder.

"I will go tell the wife." Ziva said, and Gibbs looked at her. He knew it was a statement, and after a couple seconds of thinking, he shrugged.

"McGee, go with Ziva. Upham, you're with me."

"What are we doing?" Upham asked, trying not to look excited to work with Gibbs.

"Financials." Gibbs said, and Upham's face fell. McGee grinned at Ziva, and she shrugged.

"He asked."

--

Ziva got out of the car, looking at McGee as he checked the address. There was a young girl, about the age of six, playing in the yard with a dog. She was hiding a ball, and the dog would chase her around until she threw the ball for it.

"This is the right address." McGee said, and Ziva nodded. She shut her door, moving off the sidewalk and onto the walkway. The dog barked at her, and she put her hand out for it to sniff. It did, quite cautiously, and then it barked at Ziva again.

"Molly." The girl scolded, and Molly looked at the girl then back at Ziva.

"Hey, is your mom around?" McGee asked, and the girl looked towards the house.

"Mom, someone is here for you!" She yelled, and then she went back to playing with the dog. Mrs. Meyers appeared in the doorway, looking at her daughter briefly before looking at the two federal agents on her porch.

"Hi, I'm Special Agent McGee, and this is Special Agent David from NCIS. May we come inside?" McGee said, and Mrs. Meyers titled her head.

"Is everything alright?" She asked, and Ziva pursed her lips.

"We think it would be better if we went inside." She said, and McGee nodded in agreement.

"Sarah, honey, come inside. Bring Molly." Ziva followed McGee as they were allowed inside, and Sarah ran inside behind them. McGee motioned for Ziva to sit down next to him on the couch, and she realized she was the only one still standing. Sitting, she found herself tuning out as she watched Mrs. Meyers face fall greatly. Sarah looked from her mom to Ziva, and small tears formed in her eyes.

"How?" Ziva's ears finally started to work as Sarah hid her face in Molly's fur, and Mrs. Meyers started to ask questions.

"He was found on a playground, partially burned and partially beaten." Ziva said quietly, and Mrs. Meyers looked at her.

"A playground?" She said, looking confused. Ziva nodded.

"Abrahams Preschool's playground." McGee said. It was quiet for a second as everyone took in the information they were given. Finally, Mrs. Meyers spoke.

"What am I going to do?" She looked at her daughter, and gently ran her fingers through Sarah's hair.

McGee looked at Ziva, now knowing what to say. He was sure that Ziva had plenty of advice because, if he was honest, she had the most experience in this department. Ziva was looking straight ahead, her eyes slightly glazed. McGee knew she wasn't crying, just thinking and staring off in space while doing so. Finally, she looked at Mrs. Meyers.

"You take care of Sarah, and let us do our job." Ziva said, and Mrs. Meyers nodded. She wiped a few tears away, and McGee took that as their cue to leave. They said their good-byes before exiting the house. Ziva lagged behind McGee, getting into the car slowly.

"Are you okay?" McGee asked, and Ziva nodded.

"I am fine." She said, and McGee nodded.

"You could stay back at the office, you know."

"I know." Ziva said, looking out the window as they drove back to NCIS. She heard McGee sigh, and she knew he was frustrated. He was trying to help, or talk to her, and she was shutting him out. She knew it was wrong, when all everybody wanted to do was help her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, and McGee looked at her briefly.

"For what? Ziva, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"No, I do. I should be sorry for not letting anyone in to help. Noah has to call people to help me."

McGee grimaced as she bashed herself, knowing that this wasn't going to do any good for her. She needed some affection, and sadly Noah was nowhere in sight.

"We have helped you. Noah loves you, and he knows that when you… can't call, he can and we will come help. We will always be a phone call away."

Ziva nodded, knowing what he said was true. McGee could be wise at times, and Ziva found that she liked it. It reminded her of Noah, and how at times he was so wise Ziva wondered where he got it.

"Thank you McGee." She said, and he smiled. McGee finally pulled into the parking lot, and Ziva got out. She took a deep breath of the fresh air, shutting the door and matching McGee's pace as they made their way into the building. When they got to the bullpen, Gibbs was standing in front of the plasma.

Ziva zoned out, sitting at her desk and taking a deep breath. She could feel her chest tightening, and her fingers going cold. She took another breath, burying her fingers under her armpits. She stared at her legs, and she saw they were shaking. Forcing herself to calm down, she looked up. Gibbs was staring at her, a concern look etched across his face. She smiled meekly at him, and he looked back at the plasma. She could see Upham talking, his hand holding the clicker. She looked at his desk, the desk that had so many memories, and turned away.

"Ziver."

She jumped about five feet, holding onto the desk in front of her. She took a deep breath, getting her heart to calm down.

"Go home." Gibbs said quietly, and she shook her head.

"I am fine."

"Go home and spend time with Noah."

Ziva looked up at the mention of her sons' name, and she nodded.

Quietly, she packed up stuff and headed home.

--

Noah was sitting on the couch when Ziva walked through the door, his babysitter in the kitchen.

"Mommy!"

Ziva dropped her stuff and embraced her son as he threw himself into her arms. She lifted him off the ground, smiling.

"Hello honey." She said, and he smiled at her.

"Hey Ziva." Daisy said, walking around the corner. She had a knife in one hand, and a piece of lettuce in the other.

"Salad?" Ziva asked, and Daisy nodded. The young adult moved back into the kitchen, and Ziva followed. She found not only salad, but also some pasta and garlic bread. Ziva didn't know she had all of that in her cupboards.

"Where did you-"

"We went shopping mom. I got to pick out some juice." Noah said excitedly. Ziva let him down, and he ran over to the fridge. Throwing it open, Ziva got a full view of all the food they had bought. She couldn't believe she forgot it was that time of the week again.

"Thanks, for going and getting food. How much do I owe you?" Ziva asked, and Daisy shrugged.

"Don't worry about it." Daisy said, and Ziva crossed her arms. She wasn't going to let Daisy pay for her groceries and not pay her back.

"See mom. It's grape juice."

Ziva smiled, picking up the bottle. She smiled at Noah's enthusiasm to drink the juice, and she was soon pouring him a glass. His face lit up as he took a drink, and then offered his Sippy Cup to Ziva. She smiled, taking a small sip before smiling. He got even more excited to show her the ice cream that he was only allowed to eat after dinner.

"Daisy, how much did all of this cost?" Ziva asked, and Daisy smiled.

"Not much. You don't have to pay me back, honestly Zee. I wanted to take him shopping, and I knew that you'd be at work for a while, so I just went. I had some money saved away to spend on him anyway." Daisy said, and Ziva took a breath. Daisy had taken to calling her all sorts of nicknames, and doting on Noah like he was her younger brother. Ziva knew it was because Daisy was an only child.

"I still feel obligated to pay you." Ziva mumbled, but Daisy pretended not to hear. She pulled the pasta out of the pot, putting some on Noah's plate. Ziva took the plate from her, calling Noah to the table.

"Time to eat Noah." She said, and he suddenly appeared next to her. She smiled at him as he sat in his chair, and she took her plate from Daisy. The three of them sat down at the table, and Noah and Daisy proceeded to tell Ziva about their day. Ziva listened with interest, smiling appropriately and laughing on cue. However, inside, she felt as if something was off.

As Noah talked animatedly, his hands waving and his eyes showing his excitement, she couldn't help but think about how much like his father he could be.

And how much that scared her.

* * *

**A/N: **For OutCold: More Charles Upham. :) Ah, it's almsot midnight, and I'm going to someone elses house tomorrow. Gah, gotta go to sleep.

Reviews would be appreciated. Apparently, according to OutCold, I'm not allowed to ask for good reviews. :P Whatever.

-Izzzy.


	4. Tiger Growl

**Title: **Hello, Apathy  
**Rating: **T  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own.

**A/N: **:) Today is the first day of a new decade. A new time. Time to begin the amazing stuff that we will remember in ten years. I think this decade has been amazing. I mean, really. I think it really has. So much has happened. Oh god, I'm watching The Hangover, which is a great way to ring in the new year. 2010 here I come!

I hope you are all celebrating nicely!

* * *

It was three AM when Ziva finally realized she wasn't going to sleep. She got up, walking into the hall and looking either way. She wanted to go get something to drink, but something made her move towards her son's room. Walking in, she found him asleep in his bed that he had just recently gotten. He had had a crib, but Ziva finally got him a bed. When he protested about how he wanted a big bed, she had gotten him a twin and now he slept in a twin bed. Sitting down, she watched as he shifted, his hands spreading farther out under his pillow. He had three blankets on him, so he wasn't cold, and the few stuffed animals he did own were up next to his pillow.

Ziva smiled to herself when she saw his mouth moving slightly, knowing he was dreaming. She could only wonder what he was dreaming about. She was sure it was better than the nightmares she had nightly (if she actually fell to sleep). She reached up and touched his hair, the hair that looked more and more like his father's every day. She didn't think it was fair that he looked so much like his father in the face. He had his father's slightly crooked nose, and his bright green eyes. His hair was like his fathers, and his cheeks were a meld of both parents.

Deciding that he looked very warm, Ziva pulled back the blankets and curled up next to her son. Noah moved a little in his sleep, and Ziva snuggled up against him. She looked down at him, watching as he slept. He was so serene, and so beautiful. Ziva knew that she'd never seen a creature more beautiful than her son.

_The both looked at the screen, at each other, and then they nodded._

"_Gibbs and the Director."_

_Even though they both laughed, she felt some sting in her chest. If ever, would their child end up looking like that?_

Ziva knew now that her concerns were futile. Noah looked nothing like the baby Abby had made. Ziva almost laughed when she remembered that moment, and knew that back then, the thought of having a child (especially with Tony) had never crossed her mind. She'd never thought that one day they would be in a committed relationship. She had always dreamed, but never actually thought it was going to happen.

She touched Noah's soft cheek, and she was aware that tears were falling down her face. Wiping them away, she put her head on the extra pillow and allowed herself to fall asleep.

--

"_You lied to me! How could you-how could you even think that lying was a good idea for one second!"_

Ziva sat up in bed, looking at the time. It was now six, and she needed to get up. Cursing, she looked down at where Noah had been. Had been, as he wasn't there anymore. Looking around, she realized that something smelled. Getting up, she walked out of his room and towards the kitchen. There, she found him attempting to make toast. She smiled as he furrowed his eyebrows as that look of concentration crossed his face.

"Morning." She said, and he looked at her. He smiled instantly, and she forgot her dream.

"Morning mommy. I'm trying to make you toast."

She nodded, sitting down at the table. She watched as he scowled at the toaster, his lips puckering as he thought.

"How is that working out for you?" She joked, and he shrugged.

"Is it supposed to be black?"

--

Daisy arrived on time, and soon Ziva was out the door. The second she left, Noah turned to his babysitter.

"Can I ask you a question?" He said, trying his best to be the "Little Man" McGee always called him. Daisy nodded, picking him up and balancing him on her hip. He put his hands on her shoulder, thinking.

"Did you meet my dad?" Noah said finally, and Daisy shook her head.

"I never got the pleasure of meeting him. I've seen a picture of him though."

Noah perked up, looking into his babysitter's gray eyes. He always found it weird that her eyes were gray.

"Where is it?" He asked, and Daisy sighed. Yes, she had once again opened her big mouth. Now, she had to find that picture that Ziva kept well hidden as so no one would see. Putting Noah down, she told him to stay on the couch. He nodded, sitting down.

Daisy walked down the hallway, past Ziva's room, and to the guest bedroom. She opened the door quietly, walking in and watching her step. This was where Ziva stored everything. There were old baby clothes, pictures, documents, old clothes, and plenty of memories stuffed into boxes. Walking to the one she knew held picture of Tony, she opened it up to find the same picture sitting on top as always. It looked as if he had been touched, as it wasn't covered in dust.

Closing the box, she walked back to Noah. She sat down next to him, holding the picture to her chest .He tried to see it, and she shook her head.

"You have to promise me that you won't tell your mom." Daisy said, and Noah nodded. Taking a breath, she showed the picture to Noah.

His green eyes went over the picture, searching ever inch of it. Daisy could see him thinking, and she could also see him concentrating. His lips parted as he began to think harder, and then he looked at her.

"What was his name?" Noah asked, and Daisy had a bad feeling.

"Anthony, but everyone called him Tony apparently."

Noah nodded, touching the picture. The man had a crooked nose, and hair just like Noah's. he wasn't stupid, he could see the similarities between himself and his father. He could see where he got his green eyes now.

"I look like him." Noah said, and Daisy nodded.

"You look a lot like him." She whispered, looking around the room. After about five more minutes of Noah gazing at the picture, Daisy took it away. She put it on the cushion next to her and began to tickle Noah before he could react.

"Hey!" He yelled, trying to get away from her. When he finally rolled onto the floor, she crawled after him and he ran off towards his room, shutting the door and sitting in front of it. He heard Daisy pretending to be a tiger, and laughed.

"You won't get me!" He yelled, and she chuckled in a low voice.

"I'm going to eat you." Her voice was low, like Noah knew she could do, and he giggled. She pretended to have a deep voice sometimes just to freak people out.

"No you won't!"

"You're right, I won't!"

Noah got up, opening the door. Daisy was lying on the floor, and he decided to lay on top of her. He spread out on her back, tickling her sides. She giggled, grabbing his hands and breathing.

"I have a surprise for you." She said, and Noah sat up. She turned her head so she could see him.

"Surprise?" He asked, and she nodded.

"I asked your mom, and she said I could take you to the merry-go-round in the park."

Noah jumped up off Daisy's back, running back into his room and slamming the door. Daisy sat up, looking at the closed door in confusion.

"Noah, what are you doing?"

There was a thump from inside, and then his little head popped out from inside the room.

"Getting dressed. Silly."

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**A/N: **I decided that you deserved this tonight. And I have my laptop at my friends house, and I can get on the internet, so why not?:)

Reviews would be appreciated. This IS going somewhere! Trust me. I love the next chapter so far!


	5. Merry Go Round

**Title: **Hello, Apathy  
**Rating: **T  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own!  
**  
A/N: **I meant to get this up sooner, but with a double sweet sixteen party, and the need to catch up on sleep, I wasn't able to until now. I had to finish this as well. I had like, half of the chapter to finish. Also, THANKS for the amazing reviews on this so far. I smile every time I open my e-mail. I really do. :)

I hope you enjoy this chapter. I worked hard on it. :P

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Daisy sat on the grass, watching as Noah pulled the grass around him up and made a pile. He was intent on making a huge hill, and then crushing it when he saw fit. Daisy laughed as he did it again, and then he started a new hill. Finally, she picked him up."Okay Godzilla, time to get to the merry-go-round." She said, and he looked at her with his big green eyes.

"Godzilla?" He asked, and she shook her head. Standing up, she carried him down the hill and towards the huge merry-go-round. He squirmed a little, and she held him tighter.

"You are not going to squirm away now, little worm." She said, tickling him. He stopped squirming, looking at her and sighing. He wanted to get down and run to the ride. When they got there, Daisy put him down and let him find the animal he wanted to sit on. When he picked out a lion, Daisy laughed. She lifted him up so he could sit on the figure, and went to move away. Instead, his little hand grabbed her shawl and he stuck his lip out.

"Stay here." He said, and she chewed her lip. She climbed onto the elephant next to Noah, and soon the ride began. Noah held onto the pole, looking around as the music began. Daisy laughed as his eyes lit up, and he started to giggle.

When the ride was over, Daisy carried Noah off and he patted her cheek.

"I wanna go again!"

With a smile, Daisy got back in line and Noah squealed.

--

Ziva stood in viewing, watching as Gibbs interviewed a suspect. Ziva didn't know the specifics. She had been zoning out all day. All she knew was that he was Meyer's best friend, and they had a falling out. She watched them speak, and then she saw Upham jump as Gibbs pounded his fist on the table. She almost chuckled, but she didn't feel like wasting energy on his expense. Instead, she tapped his shoulder. Again, he jumped.

"Why don't you go help Abby?" She said, and he bit his lip.

"She needs help?"

Ziva rolled her eyes, pointing to the door.

"I think you should."

He nodded, getting that she wanted him to leave. Once he had exited the room, only after shooting her a confused look, she watched Gibbs closely. She couldn't concentrate on what the suspect was saying when someone next to her kept jumping.

"I grew tired of him and his boasting. He was always about himself."

Gibbs nodded, moving the files around in front of him.

"Care to elaborate?"

Henry Lang blew some air out of his mouth, and then he took a deep breath to respond.

"Anything I could do, he had to do better. I got married; he got married and had a child. When I got a new car, he had to get one as well. Everything I did, he one-upped me. After a while, you just stop sharing what you get, or what you want to get because they will just make you feel inferior by getting something better."

Ziva looked at the suspect, knowing that he didn't do it. Moreover, she was sure that Gibbs knew that as well. She watched as Gibbs got up, telling the suspect he could go but remain in contact. When Gibbs walked into observation, Ziva sighed.

"He didn't do it." She said, and Gibbs nodded. He grabbed her arm, making her follow him.

"Who do you think did?" Gibbs asked, catching Ziva off guard. She shrugged, following along.

"I think we need to look at the art aspect."

Ducky had recovered a piece of a sculpture that was unidentified. The piece had been recovered from Meyer's head, and was embedded deep into his skull. Ducky told that only extreme force could have caused that.

"Has Abby gotten anything on the material?" Gibbs said as they got into the elevator. Ziva shrugged.

"I can check." She said, punching Abby's floor. Gibbs nodded, getting off the elevator before it began. When the doors shut, she slumped against the back wall and checked her phone again. She knew that Daisy was taking Noah to the park today, and she was only slightly worried. When she heard the ding, she stood up straight and made her way out the doors and to Abby's lab. She could hear the music pounding, and already knew that the Goth was working.

"Ziva!"

Maybe she was wrong, as the second she walked through the door Abby attacked her with a hug. The Goth seemed extremely happy to see Ziva, and she had good reason. Abby hadn't seen Ziva in three days. Somehow, she had managed to stay up in the bullpen or at home and never see Abby.

"Hello Abby." Ziva said, realizing why Gibbs had her come down here instead of himself.

"How are you? I haven't seen you in three days. I was beginning to worry. I remember Charlie telling me that Gibbs and McGee had to go help out the other day, because you had a bad night and Noah called, and I was so worried and-"

Ziva covered Abby's mouth with her hand, suppressing a smile. Abby was one of two people Ziva had to suppress smiles around.

"I understand Abby." Ziva said, and she groaned when Abby licked her hand.

"Alright, alright. I just… wanted you to know what I missed you. I was so worried." Abby said, hugging Ziva again.

"Thank you Abby." Ziva whispered.

"So, how is Noah? I need to see my little nephew." Abby said, walking over to her computer. Ziva followed, shrugging as she walked. There was a picture of Noah on Abby's desk, from about a year ago. Ziva knew it was time for a new one, but she hadn't taken any recently. She knew Daisy had…

"He is great. He is growing fast and wise for his age." Ziva said as Abby smiled.

"He is the wisest kid ever. He is going to be a philosopher some day, and you are going to be his inspiration." Abby said, and Ziva shrugged.

"Sure, why not." She said, and Abby laughed. She pressed print, and disappeared to get the print out. When she came back, she grabbed Ziva's arm.

"Come on, let's walk. I have to go see Gibbs."

--

When Abby and Ziva walked into the bullpen, they found Upham and McGee arguing. McGee looked like he wanted to throw something across the bullpen as Upham smiled. Ziva suddenly had déjà vu, and she sat at her desk before her legs decided to turn to jelly.

"I don't think you are listening."

"I am." Upham said, picking up the clicker. "This is the killer, and I know it."

He clicked, and on the plasma, a picture of Meyer's neighbor appeared. McGee groaned, shaking his head.

"The neighbor didn't do it." McGee said, and Upham crossed his arms. He twitched his head, to get his hair out of his eyes, and glared at McGee.

"Then who did?" He asked, looking between Ziva and Abby. Gibbs shook his head from his desk, finding their argument useless.

"Evidence points to someone he was very close to, and his best friend didn't do it. I think his wife did."

The room was silent as they processed what McGee said, and Ziva looked up after a second.

"Why?" She asked, confusion and a little bit of anger on her face. Gibbs had a horrible feeling that this was going to get out of hand.

"Because, I remember seeing a piece of art in Meyer's house that looks like the piece we found in his head." McGee said, and Ziva thought back. She could remember watching McGee's feet, and then staring at her hands. She couldn't remember looking around the house.

"That does not mean she killed him." Ziva said, holding her hands together in her lap. They had started to shake.

"She could have. Her initial reaction was pretty sketchy."

"She was in shock." Her legs had started to quiver.

"Or she was trying to hide something."

Ziva couldn't take it anymore. She got up, grabbed her stuff, and swiftly made her way out of the bullpen. She was in the elevator before Gibbs could catch her, and before he could see that she was crying. She pressed the stop button, slumping to the ground. Her hands were shaking as she dialed her home phone number, listening to the ringing. When the line hitched, she knew that it was either going to voicemail or being picked up.

"Hello?"

She let out a breath of relief, wiping her eyes.

"Daisy, where's Noah?" She asked, and she heard shuffling. She heard Noah speak, his voice excited and energetic. He sounded as if he had a wonderful day.

"Hi mommy." He said loudly, filling Ziva's ear. She smiled, trying to keep the crying out of her voice.

"Hi honey." She said, other words failing her. She only really wanted to hear his voice, and possibly sit on the couch with him on her lap.

"Did you call to just say hi?" He asked, laughing slightly. She smiled again and her knees came back.

"No. I also wanted to say I love you."

--

Daisy didn't leave that night until she had gotten Ziva to eat, bathe, and change for bed. She knew that getting Ziva in bed was a whole different matter, and she didn't want to attempt that. Instead, she waited until Noah was asleep on Ziva's lap to talk to her.

"How was your day?" After Ziva had come through the door, a little too early, and looking like she had recently cried, Daisy knew her day was awful. However, she also knew that Ziva would share some with her. Ziva sighed slightly, running her hands through Noah's hair. The boy had fallen asleep twenty minutes ago.

"McGee thinks that a wife killed her husband. They have a daughter."

Daisy nodded, understanding instantly. She took a drink of her hot chocolate, deciding that it was time to change the subject.

"Noah enjoyed the merry-go-round."

Ziva smiled, looking down at her son. She smiled softly, her eyes showing extreme love for her son. Her face fell slightly though, and she blinked.

"Tony loved taking me to the merry-go-round." Ziva whispered. Daisy straightened her back, watching Ziva.

"But, instead of sitting, he would make me walk the opposite direction of the motion. We would eventually get sick and have to go sit on the grass."

Ziva sighed, lifting Noah up and standing. She smiled at Daisy, pushing back tears with her shoulders.

"I will see you tomorrow." Ziva said before disappearing down the hall. Daisy paused before leaving, shutting off all of the lights slowly.

She was sure that she heard small whimpers, but she left, knowing that Ziva didn't want Daisy to know she was crying.

* * *

**A/N: **I'd love to get to 100 reviews after this chapter. I know you guys can do it. :D And if I don't, I'll be fine. I've got my Paranormal State on the telly, and my doggy keeping me warm.

Don't forget to leave a review!


	6. Mom, who's that?

**A/N: **I decided to skip the rest of the little bold points that I usually do. I am feeling too lazy to do them.

Thanks to Autumn Gray and lovely readers, I just reached 100 reviews!!! Oh, and thanks to **luvmytony** for getting me there as well. Thanks to everyone. A round of applause for you all! (Round of applause) Okay, that's over. :) You should go read Autumn's story, and while you are at it, read her other stories. Anyone who is reading her story will know she did the same thing to me. :D Returning the favor.

Also, I started a little blog of my own (again, Autumn introduced me to this and I made one of my own.) It's my homepage on my profile. Something else to do on the internet. Yay!

Okay, enough about me. About the chapter. I hope you like it. It took me forever to get the ending right. I actually redid the ending after finishing it once, because I was kind of freaked out because it was perfect. And I didn't like the feel. So, now it's where it is. I hope you like it.

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When Saturday finally came that week, Ziva was ready for an easy day. Instead, she woke up at five to a call from Gibbs saying he needed her at NCIS promptly. Groaning, she looked at Noah. Ever since Wednesday, when she had shared the merry-go-round story with Daisy, Noah had slept in her bed. She found it was easy for sleep to find her when he was next to her, and she felt safe. It was almost as if her fear he was gone had left her.

Getting up, she realized she gave Daisy the day off. She had presumed, like every other Saturday for the past three years, she'd have the day off. Instead, she found herself dressing a very sleepy Noah and promising him he'd get to spend the whole day with Abby if he just lifted his arms. After packing some food for him, and making sure to have at _least_ one change of clothes for him, she finally got out the door.

"Mommy, where we going?" Noah asked as she drove to NCIS. She smiled weakly at him.

"I told you, we are going to my work. Gibbs called me in." Ziva said, and Noah nodded from the back seat. He curled to the left in his car seat, trying to get comfortable. Ziva kept her eyes on the road, debating between turning on the radio. She hadn't made up her mind when she made her way into the parking garage at NCIS.

"Noah, honey, we're here." She whispered, and he groaned. An unstoppable smile spread across her face as she pulled him out of his seat, letting him rest on her shoulder.

"I'm hungry." He said quietly.

"You can have some food when we get to my desk." She said as she got into the elevator. She flashed a smile at the other woman in the elevator, and a smile was returned.

"How old is he?" She asked, and Ziva shifted her hip.

"Three, almost four." Ziva said, and the woman smiled warmly.

"He's very cute."

"Thank you." Ziva said as she got off on her floor, the woman disappearing in a different direction.

"Morning Ziva." McGee said, meeting her in front of her desk. He immediately took Noah's day bag, and Ziva smiled at him. She sat down at her desk, cradling Noah to her chest as he groaned.

"Hungry." He said, and McGee opened the bag. He pulled out the bag of cookies Ziva had packed, and she shook her head.

"No, the Cheerios." She said, and he nodded. Gibbs walked in then, smiling as he saw Noah.

"Daisy's day off?" He asked, and Ziva nodded. She handed the bag of Cheerios to Noah, and he started to eat.

"As soon as you get Noah tucked away, get down to interrogation." Gibbs said to Ziva. She looked at him, and then at McGee. He had a very sorry look on his face, and Ziva had a very bad feeling that she knew what was happening.

--

Ziva walked into the interrogation room already cold. She needed to remember to kill McGee later.

"I recognize you. You are Agent David. Can you tell me why I am here?" Elizabeth Meyers asked. Ziva sat down at the table, putting the file Gibbs had handed her flat on the table. She took a breath before speaking.

"We have reason to believe you killed your husband."

The silence could have sliced through Ziva, and she watched as Elizabeth's face fell greatly. She went from sad to angry, and Ziva braced herself.

"How could you think I would kill my husband? I love him!"

"We found a piece of clay in your husband's head. It matched the sculpture on your mantle."

Ziva put the picture on the table, and Mrs. Meyers looked at it. She took a deep breath, hanging her head.

"We got into a fight."

Ziva nodded.

"And you swung the lion sculpture at him?" Ziva asked, finding that hard to believe. From what she had observed, they had a wonderful marriage.

"I didn't mean to. We… I didn't want him to re-enlist. His tour was up in a week, and I wanted him to stay home and spend time with Sarah. He barely saw her because of his tour. She expressed that she missed him, and I wanted him to be a bigger part of her life. He… felt that need to serve his country. His father was in the military. Family thing."

She took a deep breath, running her fingers through her hair. She looked up at Ziva.

"He said I was being selfish. We fought about it a lot, and then it reached it's peak… yes, I swung the lion's head at him. It didn't hurt him."

"It was embedded in his skull. Did you miss the blood?" Ziva asked, and Mrs. Meyers glared at her.

"Nothing like that occurred. I obviously didn't embed that piece of the lion in his head. The lion's head at my house isn't even chipped. You should have checked!"

Ziva didn't flinch. She pulled out the Elizabeth's cell phone records, pointing to one number that was highlighted about 15 times. Confusion crossed her face, and Elizabeth blinked hard. It was then that Ziva realized that she was crying slightly.

"Sarah is a mess. She won't eat, she won't sleep. If she does fall asleep, she had nightmares. She screams, she cries at all hours of the day. My mom is here to help me with her because I have to work on funeral arrangements and my home job."

"I am sorry. I know this must be-"

"No, you don't!" Elizabeth yelled. "You don't know what it's like to be without the man you love. I have no clue what has happened to him, and you people only want to blame me! I have Sarah to take care of, and that means finding a good baby sitter and getting a fulltime job. So, I'd like to leave."

Ziva kept her eyes on her hands, taking a deep breath before getting up. She picked up the file, keeping her hair in front of her face as Mrs. Meyers realized that something was wrong. Ziva pushed back tears before looking up, forcing a smile.

"I hope this all works out for you."

Ziva left before Elizabeth could react, and before Gibbs could stop her. She ran to the elevator, forgetting about her stuff in the bullpen, and heading to Abby's lab. She found Noah sitting in a rolling chair, playing with a stuffed dinosaur.

Abby noticed Ziva before she could grab her son, and she stopped her upset friend.

"Ziva, Ziva hold up. What's wrong?" Abby said, and Ziva took a deep breath. She was so angry, she didn't know what to do. Noah was attached to her leg, and she realized that she had over reacted.

"Mrs. Meyers… I overreacted." She said, and Abby nodded. She opened her arms as if to hug her, and Ziva glared at her. Abby stuck out her bottom lip, and Noah smiled when his mother shuffled over to Abby.

"Hugs make everything better." Abby said. Ziva huffed.

"I love you mommy." Noah said, and Ziva smiled down at him. Abby grinned as she went on her way, leaving Ziva to pick up her son. Noah kissed her mother's face, smiling at her.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, and she took a deep breath.

"It's not your fault honey." She said, looking at Abby.

"I am leaving." She said, and Abby nodded.

"I don't know why you even came in today. Besides to interview someone that Gibbs could have interviewed on his own. I shall tell Gibbs you are home." Abby said the last part in a British accent, and Ziva noticed the Caf-Pow sitting on her desk.

"Thank you." She moved to the elevator, letting Noah punch the correct floor. She smiled at him as he handed her his bag, and she noticed that he had changed his shirt.

"What did you do?" She asked, and he laughed.

"I'm not supposed to tell." He said, and Ziva glared at him.

"Did you do something bad?" She asked, and he giggled.

"No." He said and he ran out of the elevator as the doors opened. Ziva shook her head, a big smile crossing her face at his little waddle.

--

Ziva parked her car out front of her apartment, looking back at Noah. He was currently talking to himself, playing a little game with himself. She smiled at him in the mirror, and he grinned. She got out of the car, opening his door and unbuckling his seat. She watched as he climbed out, standing up straight and smiling. Ziva realized that some of Abby's natural energy must have rub off on him.

"Did you eat your cookies?" She asked, and he shook his head. She dug into his bag, and found the small sandwich bag of cookies she had packed. He thanked her as she gave them to him, and they proceeded to climb up the stairs to their home.

"Mom, who's that?" Noah said from behind Ziva, and she stopped walking to look down the stairs. She didn't see anyone, and she looked at Noah.

He was looking in a different direction, through the cracks in the stairs. She walked up against the railing of the staircase.

She looked down to see none other than Tony DiNozzo standing there, looking straight back up at her.

* * *

**Uhm.. Don't Forget To Review!  
**


	7. Mistake

**A/N: **HOLY CRAP!!!! I got 36 reviews on the last chapter, and I have almost reached 140 reviews! I'm so excited right now! I mean, really really excited. Not only are the reviews amazing, but NCIS is on in about a minute! :) Stupid, West Coast time!

Okay, the chapter most of you were probably anxious for. I hope it lived up to your expectations, because I was very very very stumped on some of these

I just spent too much time watching the beginning scene of NCIS.

* * *

"I know who you are!" Noah exclaimed after a moment, grabbing his mother's pants. She looked at her son, seeing his extreme excitement. He suddenly let go of her, and ran back down the stairs. Ziva's heart lurched, and she looked at Tony. But he wasn't there. He was moving towards Noah, a strange look on his face. Finally, Ziva's legs started to work and she ran down the stairs. She got to the ground just as Tony picked up Noah, and Noah started to touch his face.

"You're the man in the picture Daisy showed me." Noah exclaimed, and Ziva looked at him.

"What picture Daisy showed you?" She asked, and Noah shut his mouth. He looked at Tony, his green eyes searching his father's face. Ziva stood back, not sure of what to do. She didn't know what to say, and she was sure that Noah was the only one who was going to speak. She felt her legs start to shake, and her teeth started to chatter. It was hitting her, and it was hitting her hard. She needed to hold Noah. She was suddenly overcome with the need to feel him in her arms. She looked at him, sitting on Tony's arm, talking as Tony stared at Ziva, and she the urge became stronger.

To occupy herself, she looked at Tony. Actually looked at him. He had lost some weight; in fact, it looked as if he had lost a lot of weight. Nevertheless, he looked healthy. Ziva noticed that he had huge bags under his eyes, and his hair was a little gray at the front. Ziva could tell he had aged, as she knew she had. She was sure that if he spoke, Ziva would hear a difference in the way he acted and how he sounded.

"Mommy!"

Ziva snapped out of her trance as Noah yelled at her. She looked at him, and saw he was brimming. He looked as if he had a million words to say, but didn't know how. She knew his vocabulary wasn't that impressive.

Ziva acted on impulse, and pulled Noah out of Tony's arms. He didn't fight the removal of his son, but rather watched her. She quickly moved away, back up the stairs.

"Ziva, wait."

She ran up the stairs, picking up her bag and heading for her door. She had the door open when a hand clasped her upper arm.

"Ziva, will you wait."

She tried to pull her arm away, and gave up when she realized that Tony wasn't letting go. Nearly growling, she put Noah down and instructed him to go put on a movie. She shut the door, turning around to face Tony. He looked relieved, and let go of her arm.

"That's better."

"No, it is not." She snapped, shutting down her face. She was sure that if any emotion passed through her eyes, he would see it.

"It's good to see you too."

Ziva reached up and slapped Tony across the face before she realized it had happened, and he stood there flabbergasted.

"I am not. You have no right to show up here, like this. And how did you find us? Were you stalking me, or did you happen to stumble upon us?" Ziva nearly yelled, and Tony shook his head. He put his hand to his cheek.

"I so do have a right to show up here. I stumbled upon you guys the other day. I saw Noah and some girl at the park. He called her Daisy. They were on the merry-go-round. _The_ merry-go-round Ziva." Tony said, standing his ground. Ziva crossed her arms.

"I do not want you here."

"Why, because you are still angry? It's been three years."

"Exactly! It has been three years. And the last time we spoke, I believe you told me you wanted nothing to do with this '_mistake'._ So, if you would be so kind, leave." Ziva spat, and Tony shook his head. He grabbed Ziva before she could turn and disappear inside her door.

"I changed my mind. It may have taken three years, but I want to be here now."

"You are three years too late!" Ziva yelled, twisting out of his grip and pushing him away from her. His face was hard, and cold. She knew he wasn't going to hurt her, but he wasn't going to budge either.

"Is that what you tell yourself to sleep at night?"

Ziva froze, her blood running cold. She had never, ever, been so insulted in her life. She wanted to kick and punch and beat Tony for saying such a thing.

"Is that what _you _tell yourself to sleep at night?" Ziva snapped in response, and Tony squinted at her.

"This isn't all my fault." He said, and Ziva struggled to get out of his grasp. He just held her tighter.

"You failed to inform me that, even though I had expressed my desire to not get you pregnant, you had gone off your birth control."

"I did-"

"No, you didn't!" Tony yelled at her, his hands momentarily grasping her arms tighter.

"You thought 'Hey, I'll just go against the trust that we have here and do something that I _know_ will get Tony angry'. You weren't thinking as you decided you wanted to get pregnant." Tony spat at her, making her feel small. She had never felt so unsafe in his presence.

"I did not want you…" She said in a small voice, and Tony laughed curtly at her.

"No, you did. You knew we never used condoms." Tony said this part quieter, and Ziva wasn't exactly sure why.

"I also knew that after three years, it was time to get more serious!"

Tony stopped his glaring to stare dumfounded at her. He didn't understand what she was saying. He was sure…

_Tony sat on his couch, smiling when there was a knock at the door. He smiled when he opened it to reveal Ziva, standing there with two grocery bags. He smiled even wider at her, taking the bags out of her hands. _

"_I don't know how I would survive without you buying me food." He joked, and she smiled. She put her jacket on the chair, following him into the kitchen. He watched as she took the bags from him and started to put the food away._

"_I could do that." He said, and she shrugged._

"_Go finish your movie." She said jokingly, and he kissed her cheek._

"_I'd rather watch you put dishes away." He said, and she sighed. He looked at her sideways, noticing for the first time that she looked a little stressed._

"_Hey, is something wrong?" He asked, and she bit her lip._

"_It has been a year and a half." She said, and he nodded._

"_I don't believe in celebrating month anniversaries." He said, trying to get her to lighten up. She let her hands fall heavily on the counter._

"_I thought by now we would be living together." She said honesty, and Tony was reminded of how frank she could be. He slid across the ground, ending up right next to her._

"_Do you want to move in together?" He asked, and she sighed in annoyance. Nonetheless, he could tell she was smiling._

"_I think I could give you my closet." He mused, and she smiled at him._

"_Only if you are positive." Ziva smiled, causing him to grin at her. _

"_Positive." He said, and Ziva's smile turned into happy laughter. She nudged him with her elbow, and he pulled her to his chest._

"_How long have you been thinking about this?" Tony asked, and she shrugged._

" _A while." She said quietly, and he smiled._

"_Well, you didn't have to worry. I would have invited you sooner, but I wasn't sure if you would say yes." He whispered to her, and she smirked at him._

"_You just didn't want me to move in." She joked as she walked away. When he didn't follow, she got a feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was right._

"How much more serious did you want to get?"

Ziva huffed, telling him that he had to figure that one out for himself. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he looked her straight in the eyes.

"What do you mean?"

Ziva kicked his shins, and he let go of her. She glared at him, making sure her voice wouldn't crack as she spoke.

"You know what I mean." She said, turning on her heel and making entering her apartment. She slammed the door, falling against it as she took a deep breath. She saw Noah sitting on the ground, his eyes filled with tears, and she suddenly felt bad. She scurried across the floor, pulling him to her.

"I'm sorry honey." She whispered, and he let a sob break through. "I am sorry you had to hear all of that."

Noah took a deep breath, and let out a small sob. He started to shake, and Ziva knew that she should have moved her argument with Tony down the stairs.

"I-it's okay mo-om." He croaked out and she shook her head. Grabbing her phone, she debated calling Gibbs.

"D-daddy didn't w-want me?" Noah asked, looking up at Ziva.

Ziva looked down at him, trying to find a way to respond. She looked into his teary green eyes, and didn't know what to do.

She didn't want to crush him more.

* * *

**A/N: **"He wouldn't let me drive. I begged, and begged."

I LOVE YOU PALMER!

Don't forget to review!


	8. Under Wraps

**A/N: **So, thank you guys so much for the reviews on the last chapter. I was very very happy that I got so many. I believe I had more than 30. And I am now nearing 200 reviews. :) Just, thank you.

So, late getting this one up. I had an awful day today, and I'm pretty sure that didn't help with my motivation to get this done. I also had homework to do, so that as always, didn't help at all.

I hope you enjoy this. Most of it's just like, aftermath, but next chapter is going to be some more into the background. I hope to get the arguement that I have typed out in here soon. ;) hint, hint.

ALL MISTAKES ARE MY OWN! I'M TO TIRED TO FIX THEM:/

* * *

Ziva watched Noah sleep. She'd been watching him sleep since she calmed him down

An hour ago.

She didn't plan on their Saturday being ruined by having to go to NCIS, and then an unexpected meeting with Tony. No, Ziva had planned to watch movies, eat cookies, and possibly bake a cake. Noah loved to show off that he knew how to measure stuff out, and Ziva would sometimes come home to find a messily frosted cake on her counter.

No, she had not planned to spend her day dealing with people and their problems.

She ran her fingers through Noah's hair, smiling as he curled closer to her. He was holding onto her leg, and his body was keeping her warm. She sighed as she replayed the conversation she had with him earlier in her head. She could practically hear his teary voice, and the way he said he was fine. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought she were dealing with someone her own age. She was always baffled when Noah acted so mature.

"Mommy…" Noah trailed off while he looked up at her. She smiled at him, stroking his back.

"How are you honey?" She asked, and he looked at the couch.

"I'm tired." He whispered, and she nodded.

"Do you want to get in your bed?"

"I want to stay next to you."

Ziva had to smile at him, and she carefully picked him up.

"How about I sit on the floor." She suggested, and he smiled at her. She put him down on his bed, and he snuggled down into the covers.

"I love you mommy." He whispered before falling asleep again.

--

Gibbs took another sip of his coffee, thankful that Ziva knew his preference. Speaking of Ziva, she was sitting across the table from him, a somber look on her face. She had called him to talk, and he said that he'd rather talk in person. She seemed angry, or rather, she was angry. So, he had told her that he would come over. He was confused to find her neighbors talking in hushed voices, and one man holding a baseball bat.

"You make a good point." He said, and she laughed.

"I do not know where to start."

"A wise person once told me that it's best to begin at the beginning." He said quietly, and she nodded. Her eyes moved to her hands, which she noticed were twitching. She stopped them.

"Tony… he showed up."

Ziva watched as Gibbs' jaw tensed up. She knew his paternal instinct was kicking in. She had seen it before when Noah had fallen down some stairs

"Showed up?" Gibbs asked, and Ziva scrunched her face.

"Yes…" She trailed off, and Gibbs took a drink of his coffee. Ziva could see he was angry.

"Is that why Noah is asleep?" Ziva nodded.

"What did he say?" Gibbs asked as he shifted in his seat. Ziva felt a little uncomfortable under his stare, but she knew he meant well.

"We had an… argument." Ziva tried to tread lightly, but she knew Gibbs was getting impatient.

"I told him to leave, and he got angry at me. We shared some choice words, and Noah heard them. He got upset."

"What kind of choice words?"

"I was angry because Tony wanted to come back into Noah's life after leaving because he said the pregnancy was a mistake. He did _not_ want to have Noah, and now here he is three years later saying he _wants _to be here? No, that is now how it works." Ziva said angrily, her hands clenching together. She looked out the kitchen window, trying to keep back tears. She had been trying to calm herself down all day, and talking about this wasn't help.

Gibbs nodded, getting up and walking over to her. He bent down and kissed her head, squeezing her shoulders.

"It's going to be alright." He said, and Ziva nodded.

As she watched him leave, she felt some sort of safety fall over her.

--

McGee and Upham were sitting in the bullpen, feeling pretty high and mighty when Gibbs came back. He had a hard look on his face, and McGee's blood ran cold. He hadn't seen that look since…

"Is Ziva okay?" He asked, and Gibbs sat down. He shuffled the paperwork that had been placed on his desk while he was absent, not looking up.

"Tony is here." He said, looking up to see his teams reaction. McGee looked shocked, and Upham looked completely flabbergasted. He hadn't been told much about DiNozzo.

"Here?" McGee tried to understand what was happening, and Gibbs shrugged.

"Ziva said he showed up at her apartment, upset Noah."

"Is she okay?"

Gibbs paused at Upham's questions. Upham wasn't one to ask of other's well being. He was usually too wrapped up in trying to keep up with the team. Sure, everyone worried about Ziva, but Ziva hated when Upham tried to show her compassion. Usually, he kept to himself.

"I have a suspicion that there is more to know." Gibbs said as best he could. He was actually at a loss for words.

"You mean that we don't know everything?" McGee said, and Gibbs shrugged.

"Who's in interrogation?" Gibbs asked. McGee and Upham looked at each other, and each smiled.

"We have someone we believe killed Meyers in interrogation." Upham said, and Gibbs nodded. He got up, looking at his cell phone before going. Deciding it was best, he pocketed the small device and followed McGee and Upham interrogation.

--

It took ten minutes to get Meyer's neighbor to confess to killing him. Not long after that, McGee and Upham were walking back to the bullpen. They were on some sort of high, each glad the case was over and they could focus on other things. Upham had a TV marathon to watch off his DVR, and McGee wanted to go see Ziva. He was a little concerned about Tony. Speaking of Tony…

McGee walked into the bullpen and instantly stopped. Tony DiNozzo was sitting at Upham's desk, his feet up and his hands behind his head. McGee almost felt like it were three years ago, but Ziva wasn't at her desk scowling.

"McGiggles."

Upham stopped, looking at his desk. He looked at McGee, and the pair shared a look. Upham stood back as McGee walked over to Tony. McGee wasn't surprised to see that his old friend had lost weight. He looked older, and not just in physical appearance. McGee was sure by the lines on Tony's face that he had been worrying, and he had started taking things seriously.

"What are you doing here?" McGee asked, and Tony sat up.

"Ziva asked me the same thing." Tony said to almost jovially, and McGee knew that he hadn't changed that much.

"There might be a reason behind that." McGee rationalized. Tony shrugged.

"There might." He sounded bitter, and McGee realized this was forbidden territory.

"Well? What _are_ you doing here?" McGee asked again, and Tony sighed heavily.

"You know, you've grown up a lot McGee."

Tony was surprised when McGee didn't answer him, but instead grabbed his stuff in a huff. The newbie next to him, with the young looking face, stared at McGee. He looked like he was trying to talk telepathically with McGee.

"Where are you going?" Upham asked McGee. McGee stopped at the exit of the bullpen, looking straight at Tony. The older man looked as if he was enjoying himself.

"I'm going to make sure Noah is alright."

McGee turned before Tony's face fell, but Upham knew that that was McGee's intention.

* * *

**A/N: **I had originally planned for McGee to punch Tony... that didn't work.

Also, I have something to say. I've been getting mixed reviews. Some people are telling me that they are sick of hearing it is always Tony's fault, while others are saying they are sick of hearing it's Ziva's. I know there are a lot of stories that protray either of them as the "bad guy" and this one you will be guessing for a while. Right now, it seem's Tony is the bad person and Ziva is over reacting. I hope to change that view by the end. You'll see.

So, be patient.

Thanks, again.


	9. Apologized

**A/N: To begin, can I express my extreme gratitude for you reviewers? I can, alright. THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! The last three chapters have all gotten over 30 reviews, and chapter 5 got 29 reviews. I have never gotten so big of a response on a story in a while, and I partly blame Autumn Gray, but oh well. :D I wanted to try to reach 200 reviews by chapter 10, but we already did that!!! EEK! Okay.**

**So, after reading all of the reviews, I wanted to set this straight. _It takes two to tango._ My mom tells me that all the time when my brother and sister are fighting. It takes two to fight, and two to cause a fight. So, when reading this, remember that. It takes two to tango. It isn't just one person's fault for all of this, and I'm pretty sure you are all confused. I hopefully will have more info on what happened in the next four chapters, but no promises. **

**This chapter is mainly for OutCold, who hasn't made contact yet, but is finally home from France. :D Finally!**

**Oh, and P.S: I love the ammount of reviewers who actually wanted McGee to punch Tony. You guys made me giggle. **

* * *

McGee drove over to Ziva's apartment, keeping his eyes open. Today was proving to be a draining day, and he was sure that he'd sleep well that night. Pulling into the parking lot, he parked his car and made his way up the stairs to her door. He could hear someone talking in a low voice, and then he heard another smaller voice. He knew it had to be Ziva and Noah, so he knocked quietly. He heard small feet running to the door, and when it opened, Noah stood there smiling.

"Mom, it's McGee." He yelled, and Ziva appeared behind him. She picked him up and motioned for McGee to follow her inside. He sat down at the kitchen table, smiling as she handed him a cup of coffee. He took a sip, not caring that it was eight at night.

"How are you guys?" McGee asked as Ziva sat down, pulling a wiggling Noah with her. He glared up at his mother, but sat there diligently anyway.

"Must you ask?" Ziva whispered, taking a drink of her tea. McGee shrugged.

"He showed up at work. He was sitting in Upham's desk when we walked back in from interrogation, and had that cocky look on his face."

Ziva nodded, imagining in her head all the times Tony had sat at his desk with a cocky smile on his face.

"Poor Upham." She said quietly, kissing Noah's head. The young boy looked like he was getting tired.

"Gibbs won't be happy he's there. He'll use his office." McGee said with a laugh, and Ziva joined in. She could only imagine Gibbs finally using his office. He hadn't stopped the elevator for some time. The last time he had, Upham had been in there and the new agent walked out looking green.

"How's-"McGee motioned towards Noah, who had his eyes shut. Ziva smiled sadly, lifting Noah up and walking into the living room. When she came back, she was childless and McGee knew she'd put him on the couch to sleep.

"He heard Tony and I arguing. He heard that his father didn't want him and got upset. He's better now." Ziva said, and McGee nodded. He couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw a flash of regret pass over Ziva's face.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Ziva said, trying to smile.

"No, it's not. You shouldn't have to deal with this." McGee said, and Ziva shook her head. She took a deep breath, looking towards the door. She folded her hands over and over, until she finally looked back at McGee.

"Thanks for coming over." She said quietly, and McGee took that as his cue to leave. He got up, looking at Ziva. She looked sad, and lost. He felt sorry for her, and he knew she'd be angry at him for feeling so. Carefully, he walked over to her and kissed her temple.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He said, heading for the front door. He was about to open it when he felt a hand on his arm, and he turned around. Ziva hugged him, her face burying in his shoulder.

"Thank you." She whispered again, and he smiled.

--

Noah woke up on Sunday morning, feeling much better than he had the night before. He looked around and realized he was in his mother bed again, but she was in the shower. Obviously, she had work that day, and he'd be left home with Daisy. He didn't mind though. He greatly enjoyed Daisy's company. He thought of her as an older sister.

Getting out of bed, he walked into his room. He was intent on being dressed and eating when his mother walked into the kitchen. Hurriedly, he pulled off his pajamas and pulled some clothes out of his drawers. He got dressed and walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge. He searched around until he found the grape juice. He was going to make himself toast, and this time it wouldn't burn.

There was a knock at the door, and Noah jumped. He ran to the door, forgetting his open juice. He unhooked the latch, and moved the lock. When he opened the door, he expected to see Daisy.

Instead, he saw his father.

Noah had half a notion to push the door shut, after yesterday. He could still hear the word mistake echoing through is small head. He may have been three, but he understood what that meant.

"Mommy doesn't want you here." He said, and his father nodded.

"I know she doesn't," He crouched down, "But I had to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to you." Noah said, moving back from the open door. Tony nodded, putting his hands on his knees to keep from falling over.

"I don't blame you." Tony shrugged, looking straight at Noah. He then realized that Noah had his eyes.

"However, I wanted to say sorry for yesterday. I shouldn't have done that to you." Tony said quietly, and Noah bit his lip. He was trying to figure out his father.

"Okay." Noah said, hearing the water turn off. He looked back into the apartment, and then back at his father.

"Mom's going to get out of the shower soon. You should go." Noah said, pushing the door. Tony stopped it, looking at his son.

"I want to make it up to you. You know, upsetting you and all. Tell your mom that." He said before standing up straight and heading to the stairs. Noah watched him go, biting his lip even harder. He shut the door, locking it again. He was in the kitchen pulling the bread down when Ziva walked in, a robe tied around her waist and a towel in her hair.

"Morning mommy." Noah said, and she smiled at him. She kissed his cheek, helping him pull the bread down.

"You are up early. And dressed. Is something happening?" She asked, and he bit his lip again. Ziva noticed, and stopped pulling bread out of the bag.

"What happened?" She asked, giving him her best death glare. Noah sat down on the counter, looking at his mother.

"Dad was here." He said, and Ziva looked like she could kill someone. Before she reacted, Noah put his hand on her face.

"He apologized."

Ziva's face went from angry to confused, and she put the bread down.

"He did what?" She asked, and Noah nervously twisted his hands.

"He apologized to me about yesterday." Noah said, stopping his hands. He looked at his mother, and was surprised when she walked away from him and into the living room. Noah climbed off the counter, following her.

"He said he wanted to make it up to me." Noah said.

"No." Ziva snapped, and Noah stopped in his tracks. Ziva rarely snapped at him. In fact, she only snapped at him when he was in big trouble, which was rare.

"Mom-"

"Noah, no." Ziva said again, and Noah glared at her. He got up on the couch, making her look at him. He may have been upset yesterday, but today he wanted to see his father. He had spent three years without one, and now Tony was magically here. Noah's curiosity was spiked.

"I want to see him."

Ziva sighed heavily, looking at her son. Stubbornness came from both sides of his hereditary tree, and she was sure that right now he wasn't going to give up. She was reluctant to allow it, because she didn't want him upset again. However, she had always thought in the back of her head that Tony would have been a great father if he hadn't left.

She felt conflicted.

She looked between the front door and Noah, thinking. She had a bad feeling about letting Noah and Daisy spend time with Tony. And, even if Tony didn't want Noah, he was still his father. And it didn't matter what Ziva thought; any child deserved to spend time with their parents.

She just didn't want that time to end in more tears.

"I will talk to Daisy. But that doesn't mean it's official." She said as Noah's face lit up. He hugged her quickly before falling off the couch and heading back into the kitchen. Ziva grabbed the phone, dialing Daisy's number.

"Hey Ziva, I'm getting ready to come over now." Daisy said when she answered, and Ziva nodded.

"I needed to talk to you about something." Ziva said, and she heard Daisy hum.

"About what?" Daisy asked, and Ziva sighed. She explained everything to Daisy, and Daisy listened as she drove to the apartment. When Ziva finished, Daisy hummed to herself. She was almost there, so she wanted to make sure she had a good response for when she walked through the door.

"I see." She said, and Ziva watched Noah slightly trip as he walked to the hallway. He caught himself before he hit the ground, and he pushed himself right back up.

"I am wary about the situation, and I wanted to know what you thought. You would be the one to make the decision, but I would want you there with them if they did do anything." Ziva said, looking at the clock. She was going to be late, but Gibbs wouldn't be mad at her.

"I understand Ziva. Don't worry." Daisy said as she walked up the stairs to Ziva's apartment. She knocked, and she heard Ziva get up off the couch.

"Thank-"Ziva opened the door and smiled at Daisy, letting her inside. She shut off her phone, and Daisy snapped her shut.

"Don't worry Ziva. If Tony does happen to show up here, and asks to see Noah, I'll go with them. Besides, I think you're right in that Noah does deserve to see Tony. I'd be mad if my mom kept me from my dad. I love my dad." Daisy said, pulling her brown hair up into a ponytail. It was still wet from her shower.

Ziva smiled, glad to have the teenager there. She called Noah, and he appeared behind Daisy's legs. Daisy picked him up, tickling him.

"Have a good day." Ziva said, her stomach turning. She kissed Noah, and he hugged her neck tightly.

"I love you mom." He said, kissing her cheek affectionately. Ziva smiled at him, grabbing her bag and making her way out the door. When she reached her car, she got inside and took a deep breath. She knew she was being slightly paranoid, and maybe a little protective, but she didn't want Noah upset again.

Yeah, she just didn't want Noah upset again.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter spawned a life of it's own. I swear, Tony was NOT supposed to show up. But, he did. Oh well. Stupid bunnies. **

**Obviously, next chapter will be about Tony and Noah. I hope to make it cute, but with some underlying tone of sadness and angst. We'll see.**

**Don't forget to leave a review!**


	10. Daddy's Day

**A/N: **Sorry for taking so long to update. I was trying to update for the past four days, but school just ate me up and refused to spit me back out. Right now, actually, I should be in bed. It's only nine, but I have to wake up super early. Gah. I can't wait until Friday.

I think I need to address this: A lot of people are saying that Ziva is OOC, and that she wouldn't let Daisy do her job. Some people are speculating as to why she is like this. I just want to say that stuff will be explained soon about why she is like this, and why everyone is like this. I know I've said this a couple times, but I promise that soon I will have the backstory for all of this. I'll try. I just... I know she's kind of OOC.

This was a fun chapter to write. I started this on Sunday, while watching the Packers and Cardinals in an amazing game of overtime, a tied score of 45, and one play that just crushed my dreams of having the Packers go to Superbowl. Oh well. I'm rooting for the Saints and Viking's to go to Superbowl. PARTY! Ha. On another note, I finished this while watching American Idol (I MISS PAULA!)

* * *

Daisy spent her morning chasing Noah around, trying to understand his three-year-old babble. He walked from one room to the next, saying something about this, and something about that. Eventually, she picked him up and put her hand over his mouth.

"Calm down sweetie. Really, I feel like I'm running a mile." She said, and Noah nodded. He wiggled out of her arms and hit the ground running. Daisy had to laugh as he kept running wildly from room to room. She moved to follow him, giving up on their impromptu game of chase. She found him sitting on the floor in front of the DVD's, running his finger of the spines. She knew he had memorized all of the DVD's, and what they were about. Suddenly, he grabbed Aladdin and held it up above his head.

"Do you like this movie?" He asked, serious in a matter of seconds. Daisy picked up the movie, smiling.

"Yes, I do. I love it, actually. I love all Disney movies." She said as there was a knock at the door. Making sure that Noah was completely immersed in the array of DVD's, she walked over to the door. She didn't bother to look through the peep hole as she unlocked the two locks and threw the door open. She wasn't surprised to see Tony DiNozzo standing there.

"You must be Daisy." He said, and she nodded. How he knew her name was a mystery to her. Then she realized she was wearing a daisy pin. Smiling, she looked back to Noah.

"And you must be Tony. Hold on a sec. Noah." She said, turning to look at him. He was holding The Princess Bride in his mouth, along with Lion King and Lady & The Tramp in his hands. She watched as he put them away in their spots and got up, pulling his pants with him. He needed a belt.

Noah's face lit up when he saw his biological father standing in the doorway. He walked up to Tony's leg, grabbing it. Daisy knew that was Noah's speak for "pick me up", but she guessed Tony would learn that. He reached down and picked up Noah.

"Hey Noah."

Daisy wasn't a wise person, at least, she didn't think so. She had never thought of herself as someone who was overly observant, just enough to get herself places. Ziva always told her otherwise, but she never agreed. However, at the moment, she knew Tony was nervous. She could see it in his semi-tired eyes. And the way his hands moved to hold Noah. Noah didn't care. He was comfortable with just about everyone.

"Hi." Noah said, reaching up and touching Tony's cheek. He patted the stubble there, his little mind working. She could see him trying to understand what was all over his father's face.

"What do you want to do?" Tony asked, and Daisy smiled at them both.

"Ziva told me that wherever you guys go, I am to go with you." Daisy said, and Tony nodded.

"I didn't expect you to stay here." He said quietly, looking at Noah. Noah was examining Tony, his small eyes looking over every aspect of the mans face. His hands were on the stubble still, and he seemed to be rubbing it. Tony laughed slightly, touching Noah's hand.

"Hey, that tickles." Tony said. Smiling, Noah rubbed Tony's cheek a little faster.

Daisy couldn't help but smile as the pair got into a playful argument, Noah insisting on rubbing Tony's cheek as they made their way out the door.

--

Daisy watched from across the table at Subway as Noah chewed on the simple sandwich he had ordered. Tony sat next to him, eating a much larger sandwich but with the same facial expression as Noah. They both looked concentrated on their food, and they were each holding the food the same way. Daisy smiled as Noah reached over and took a small piece of meat falling out of Tony's sandwich.

"Hey, what was that for?" Tony asked, smiling at Noah. He had considerably loosened up as their day went on, and now Daisy knew she was seeing the usual Tony DiNozzo.

"You have a different kind than me." Noah said, chewing on the roast beef. Noah had the usual turkey, and was surprised that there were so many different lunch meats.

"You should ask." Tony said, surprising Daisy. She was about to open her mouth and say the same thing, but instead Tony seemed to slip into a disciplinary role over Noah. She smiled despite her surprise, chewing on her bag of chips.

"Okay." Noah said, putting his sandwich down. "Can I have some meat?"

Tony smiled, putting his food down and pulling some meat out. He put it on Noah's tray, and the boy smiled.

"Thank you." He said, picking it up carefully.

"You're welcome." Tony said with a smile. They went back to eating, and Daisy kept watching. She was learning a lot of things today. She was about to grab another chip when nature called her, and she smiled at Noah.

"I'll be right back. I have to use the restroom." She said, and Noah nodded. A piece of roast beef fell on his chin, and before Daisy could reach over Tony had it wiped off. She smiled while getting up and heading for the bathroom. When the door shut, Noah turned to Tony.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked, sipping on his juice box. Tony nodded, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Sure." He said through a full mouth, and Noah scrunched up his nose.

"Mommy say's you're not supposed to eat with your mouth full." He said, almost scolding Tony. Tony laughed, swallowing.

"Your mother is a smart person." Tony said sincerely, and Noah nodded.

"Well, I wanted to know… why did you leave?" Noah asked nervously. He knew the subject was touchy for his mother, and he wasn't sure about his father. He was honestly hoping that he'd get more information. He knew some of the facts, and after hearing the argument Tony and his mother had he wanted to know more.

"It's… very complicated bud." Tony said this half-heartedly, almost as if he didn't know where to start.

"I don't care." Noah said, sitting up straighter. He looked at his dad, staring right into his eyes. Tony felt a little uncomfortable.

"It's also a long story." Tony said, and Noah glared at him. Tony smiled, ruffling up Noah's hair a little.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Tony asked, and Noah nodded. He got off his chair, climbing up into his father's lap with a confident smile on his face.

"Yes." Noah said. Tony sat there, surprised. He didn't know what to do with Noah. He was honestly stumped. Carefully, he put his arms around Noah.

"I made a mistake." Tony said quietly, not noticing that Daisy had sat back down.

"Your mother and I talked about many things, including kids. I told her that I wanted to be in a more serious relationship, like marriage, before we even thought seriously about having kids. We had been dating for… three years when your mother got pregnant. I didn't know until she was five months, or way along." Tony explained in the smallest terms he knew. Noah pursed his little lips, looking up.

"That makes sense. But, why did you leave?"Noah asked. He was surprised when Tony's eyes darkened, and Noah felt uneasy. Tony cleared his throat.

"That is a story… for another time."

Noah pouted, and looked at Daisy.

"Ready to go?"

--

Tony pushed Noah higher on the swings, and Noah squealed as he went higher and higher. Tony could only smile as Noah's squeals brought him happiness. He slowed Noah down a little, that feeling that his son would go flying over the bar and die settling in.

"Higher!" Noah said, looking backwards. Tony could see his impatience. Smiling, Tony stopped Noah completely.

"Higher what?" Tony said, and Noah crossed his arms.

"Higher please?" Noah said, and Tony smiled. Pushing the swing, Noah flew up into the air. He held tight onto the chains, and smiled as he flew through the air. When the swing stopped and Tony lifted Noah up, Noah was smiling widely.

"That was fun." Noah said, and Tony nodded.

"Very fun." He said, lifting Noah up so he was on his shoulders. Noah squealed again, his smile widening as Tony walked back to where Daisy was sitting reading a book. Halfway there, Noah grabbed Tony's hair and bent down so he was half looking into Tony's eyes.

"I'm having fun."

"I'm glad."

"Can we do this again daddy?"

Tony stopped walking, looking up at Noah. Yet again, Noah was surprising him. He didn't expect Noah to suddenly call him dad, or even daddy. He had rarely called his father daddy, and he knew little people who did. Smiling up at Noah, he nodded. He didn't want to ruin this again.

"Yes, yes we can."

* * *

**A/N: **Any mistake are my own. I need a beta.

Oh, leave me your comments about Flesh & Blood. I wrote over 2000 words for Emily (Tiva4evaxxx) while it was playing. I mean, I was so excited. I canot wait for next episode! PARIS!

Anywho, Don't Forget To Leave Me Reviews. (:


	11. Done Waiting

**A/N: **So, after updating yesterday, I decided that I should update today. :) And, because I did all of my freaking homework and am feeling good, I sat myself down and got to work on this. :) Oh, and Bones is on.

Thank you to all of the reviews I got yesterday. I feel I have to clear stuff up a lot, but I just wanted to let you know AGAIN that Noah is intelligent for his age. I have gotten reviews saying that Noah is understands a lot, but I've said before... he's intelligent. Very articulate. I think that is how you spell it. Oh well. As M E Wofford told me, it's my story. It's my view that is important.

I hope you enjoy this chapter. I did.

P.S. if you didn't already, go check out my blog. It's my homepage. leave a comment. Just, telll me who you are. Ha. Stalker time....

* * *

Ziva was sitting at home with a cup of tea in her lap, wondering if McGee was still working on his report, when Daisy walked through the door. Noah wasn't behind her, and Ziva quirked an eyebrow. Daisy pointed to the half open door, and Ziva got up. She looked out the door, surprised to see Noah asleep in Tony's arms. She walked out the door, meeting Tony before he came any closer.

"I'll take him." Ziva said, and Tony placed the sleeping child into her arms. He watched as she kissed Noah's forehead, saying hello quietly. She then looked up at Tony, and her slight smile disappeared. She shifted Noah onto her shoulder, and Noah laid there limp. Tony knew he'd had a fun day, and Daisy had commented as Tony drove them back that Noah would sleep well tonight.

"Did you have fun?"

In any other situation, this question would have been phrased in a friendly manner. Now, though, Ziva asked with a clipped tongue, and a cold indifference.

"Yes. I did." Tony said, looking at Noah again. Smiling, he reached up to pat his back. Ziva moved at the last second, glancing towards the door.

"I think I should be getting inside. It's cold."

Tony glared at her, knowing she was lying. She was about to move away when Noah stirred.

"Wanna say bye to dad."

Ziva's eyes flashed between Noah and Tony. She didn't know when this had happened, but she was surprised. They'd been together a day, and already Noah was becoming attached to Tony. Ziva gave up Noah to Tony, and watched as Noah wrapped his arms around Tony's neck.

"Can we do this tomorrow?" Noah's little voice asked, looking at Tony. Tony looked at Ziva, who was conflicted. The wind blew a little bit, and Tony tightened his arms on Noah. He took his jacket and put it around his son a bit, hoping to keep him warm.

"I am not going into work tomorrow unless Gibbs' calls. I would like to spend the day with you Noah." Ziva said, feeling like someone on an American reality show. Jerry Springer came to mind.

"Okay." Noah said, squeezing Tony's neck before letting go.

"I had fun Noah." Tony whispered quietly, and Noah nodded.

"The swings were the best." Noah said excitedly, and Tony realized that he was completely awake now. Smiling, he patted Noah's cheek before handing him back to Ziva. Noah smiled up at Ziva before wiggling down onto the ground and running inside. That left Tony and Ziva on the walkway.

Alone.

Ziva shifted, feeling uncomfortable.

"He asked, about why I left. I didn't tell him everything, because… well, because I think he shouldn't hear it from just me. I think that, if it ever comes to that, we would tell him together." It came out as a partial mumble, but Ziva heard it all. She nodded.

"If it ever comes to that." She said quietly, her brain thinking about the possibilities. She had to be honest with herself; she had been thinking about talking things out with Tony. However, she'd quickly dismiss that thought as soon as it entered her brain.

"Ziva, listen. I am honestly sorry about all of this, but… I think for the sake of Noah we should try to talk. Other than cold remarks." Tony said.

Ziva took a deep breath, trying to calm the shaking of her hands. Nodding, she took a slight step forward. She looked up at Tony, deciding that she should just say it now.

"I agree. And I am sorry as well. However, things will not be all pandy dandy after one talk."

"Handy dandy."

"And I believe that this talk should come after the team gets some light spread on the subject."

Tony nodded, agreeing with her. He could see that she had ignored his correction, but he had a feeling she did it on purpose. Taking a deep breath, he decided this needed a handshake. Holding out his hand, he forced a smile. She took his hand gingerly, shaking it before letting go. She walked into the apartment quickly after that, missing the almost triumphant smile that spread across Tony's face.

--

"_You lied to me! How could you-how could you even think that lying was a good idea for one second!"_

_She shook her head, not knowing what to say. She honestly thought he was going to hit her, but she knew he couldn't do that. Not with what she had just told him. Looking up, she faced his anger head on._

"_You lied to me! You have always lied! Everyone lies!" She yelled, and he rolled his eyes._

"_Yeah, that's just great. Everyone lies, so you can fall right into step!"_

_There was a pause in their shouting, and Tony laughed._

"_You once told me that you couldn't get hurt again."_

"_Don't." She said, tears threatening to well up, but he pushed on._

"_And I decided that I would make _damn sure_ that I wouldn't hurt you. That you could always trust me, and I wouldn't let you down."_

"_Tony-"_

"_No, listen!"_

_Ziva swallowed, her hands going to her stomach. She could feel herself shutting down, and as she put her hands on her stomach, she felt a little stability._

"_I hoped you would do the same for me. I'd hoped you wouldn't let me down."_

_He looked at her, his eyes cruel and cold. It was almost too hard to look at. Ziva turned away._

"_I love you Ziva. I trust you. I always have."_

_She flashed back to Israel, and putting a gun to his chest. She suddenly wondered if that would have hurt less._

"_I did. Now, I don't know."_

_With that, he stormed to the door, and she found herself following him. _

"_Tony, wait." She sounded pleading, but she didn't care. She needed him to understand. She grabbed his arm, and he shoved her hand off. It stung a little._

"_No. I'm done waiting for you Ziva. I'm done."_

Ziva sat up straight, realizing that she woke up because her body was shaking with great intensity. She looked down at Noah, deciding that he wasn't going to wake. She got up out of bed, grabbing her robe and wrapping it around her. She walked out of her room and to the door leading to the small landing. She opened the sliding door and walked out. She grabbed the railing, letting the cold air whisk past her. She sighed heavily, smiling as she spotted Noah's tricycle. However, she frowned when her mind told her to stop getting off subject.

She could remember a time when she had daydreams about watching Noah (then just a bump in her belly) ride a bike while being chased by Tony. She could remember when her daydreams were bright, vivid, and happy. Shaking her head, she walked back inside. Looking around, she almost laughed.

"_No. I'm done waiting for you Ziva. I'm done."  
_

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Don't forget to leave me a review. Those lovely little things.


	12. Gibbs & His Basement

**A/N:** I honestly tried to make this longer, as I didn't update for four days. I feel bad, but I blame school and a sudden block. I was typing when I started to hate where I was going, and then I began again. This was the third time I'd erased everything. I actually liked this, and it flowed. :)

Thank you so much for the reviews and feedback I've been getting on this. I honestly have never been more excited. Thank you guys.

This chapter.... well, I have a feeling I'm going to get mixed reviews on this. I really do. But, I hope you enjoy this. I did. It was hard for me to write and keep characters in character, so I apologize in advance if anyone is OOC. :/

**BTW:** Are any of you excited about the new spoilers that Gemcity08 shared with me about Jetlag? If you haven't read it, tell me in your review and I'll send it to you! ;)

* * *

Gibbs was in his basement when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He didn't have to look to know they were Ziva's. He had been expecting her arrival ever since Tony had shown up in his old desk. The image of Tony's face when Gibbs hadn't acknowledged his presence was still present in his mind. He felt only a little bad about that, as Gibbs had always been close to Tony. However, for the time being, Tony was on his bad list.

"Hello Gibbs."

Ziva walked across the empty basement, stopping when she was within arm's length of Gibbs.

"Ziva." Gibbs said, nodding at her to sit. She obliged, situating herself on the stool.

"I believe I owe you an explanation."

Gibbs looked at her quickly, setting down the rusty nails he had in his hands. He had been working on getting them shiny again. Nodding, he turned around and leaned against the workbench.

"I have always believed to begin at the beginning. And since I have no clue where this story should begin-"

"Ziva." Gibbs tilted his head, and Ziva sighed.

"Tony was here yesterday. He actually showed up earlier this week, before he showed up at NCIS. And then, yesterday, he showed up in the morning and spoke with Noah. Noah then asked me if he could spend the day with him…" Ziva trailed off, taking a deep breath.

"They spent the day together. Daisy was with them, of course, and Noah came home with stories and he told me about swings and he was so happy."

"Noah and Tony are very alike." Gibbs stated, and Ziva nodded.

"They are. When I had Noah go inside, Tony and I spoke. Apparently, Noah asked Tony why he left. Tony felt that, if the situation happened, both of us should be there to explain. I agree, as then there isn't biased in the story." Gibbs nodded, letting her work out her next words.

"We also agreed that you and the team should get some light spread on the subject before we tell Noah."

Gibbs stood up straighter, knowing where this was going. He watched as Ziva worked out words in her head again, surprised when she looked up.

"What would you like to know?"

Gibbs was slightly thrown off at her question, but he already had a partial answer in his brain. He'd been thinking about it all day.

"Why exactly did he leave?" Gibbs said, pulling another stool over so he could sit. His old back was beginning to protest to standing.

"There are… a lot of reasons." Ziva said slowly, and Gibbs shrugged.

"What do you think was the main reason?"

Ziva sighed heavily, folding her hands over in her lap.

"We had an agreement. We had a serious talk about 7 months into our relationship about what we wanted, and what we did not want. I cannot remember exactly how we got onto that subject, but we somehow managed to have the conversation. Tony told me that, even though he'd love children, he wanted to wait until we were at least three years into marriage. I agreed, because his logic was sound.

"We didn't move in together until one year and seven months. We did spend numerous nights at each other's apartments', but we never officially moved in together. I never asked him why he was so reluctant to move in together." Ziva stopped when she saw Gibbs beginning to speak.

"I never pegged you two as the settle down, get married type. I always believed you'd be like Gene Simmons and his partner Shannon." Ziva quirked her eye at Gibbs, smirking at his knowledge of pop culture. Gibbs laughed.

"I do occasionally watch TV and listen to music." He joked, and Ziva shook her head.

"I never expected to get married, in all honesty. I fantasized about it, wondered what it would be like, but never believed it would happen."

Ziva looked down at her hands for a second, taking a deep breath. She had come to terms with the fact that Tony leaving wasn't entirely his fault. Sure, he'd left, but they had each played a part. Now, she just had to admit it.

"I messed up. I broke your rule, and screwed over my partner. I don't know why I did it. I have no idea what possessed me to go off my birth control and not tell Tony."

Gibbs stared at Ziva, shocked. He wasn't going to speak though, because he was sure Ziva was about to spill the whole can of beans.

"I was tired of us being so… distant. Sure, we lived together, worked together, and did almost everything else together, but we never got more serious. I worried that he was cheating or that he was going to leave, but I always rationalized with myself that I was being too emotional. And I was. Then, one night, I thought he was coming home and he never did. I over reacted honestly. Looking back, that was the night you had assigned him a ton of paperwork. I was too irrational to remember that. I threw my birth control down the toilet, and didn't tell Tony. I kept it in my nightstand, which he never looked in. Therefore, I knew he would never know."

Ziva took a deep breath.

"He apologized when I walked into work the next morning. It was three months before I took a pregnancy test and found I was pregnant. I did not want to tell him, because I knew he would freak, but he would also know soon enough. I started to show, and then he derived a conclusion.

"We got into a fight when I was five months pregnant. I was so upset because he seemed to hate the fact that I was pregnant. We never spoke, and when we did, it was nothing friendly. When the fight finally occurred, there were choice words."

Gibbs tilted his head, and Ziva sighed.

"I might have told him that if he really wanted to be away from me, he should just leave."

Gibbs almost fell off his stool. Standing up, he moved right up next to Ziva. She looked greatly upset, and had tears in her eyes.

"It was the most stupid thing I could have done. I was so cruel and mean to him. I should have never opened my mouth when my head was in the wrong place. I was stupid, and I am at fault the most." She said with a heavy sob, wiping her face. She took a deep breath, straightening her back. Gibbs stopped her before she could speak again.

"You were stupid."

Ziva looked up at Gibbs with a shocked face, but he put up his finger.

"You were stupid in thinking that Tony hated the fact that you were pregnant. You were stupid in thinking that Tony would cheat or leave you. You, of all people. Ziva, I have never seen a man more enamored by someone. I have never seen a man more in love with someone. You may not have seen it, but I believe Tony was a little excited about you being pregnant.

"You are both at fault, because both of you tore your relationship apart from the inside. However, I believe it was stupid for telling him to leave."

Ziva nodded at Gibbs' logic. Taking a deep breath, a shiver ran through her body. She wiped the tears off her cheeks, looking up at Gibbs.

"We both hurt each other."

"What choice words did he have for you?" Gibbs honestly knew this was very middle school, but he had been curious about the disappearance of Tony for a long time.

"Liar, bitch, deceiving awful person. I remember those the most. He was most upset about me lying to him about the birth control."

"_Was_ there more to the fight?" Gibbs asked. Ziva crinkled her face.

"We had been on the rocks since we moved in together. I thought a lot about it, and now I believe that Tony was scared.

"Scared?"

"He watched himself a lot when we lived together. I remember time when he would start to say something, but then he would stop."

"He didn't want to mess it up." Gibbs said, and Ziva nodded. Gibbs put his hand on Ziva's shoulder, and she looked at him.

"I do not think he would have messed it up. I think the fear that he would mess it up caused him to mess it up." Ziva said, and Gibbs smiled slightly at her backwards logic.

"He loved you, and I know he didn't want another woman he loved to leave him." Ziva nodded.

"I also know that you didn't want another man you love to leave _you_." Gibbs watched as Ziva shook her head.

"We both fucked up." She whispered, and Gibbs smiled at her American swear word.

"Yes, you both did."

--

The second Ziva walked through the door; she was instantly in a good mood. Noah was sitting on the couch, and he was wearing his khaki pants and an argyle sweater. His hair was brushed, and Ziva saw that Daisy was wearing a nice shirt.

"Is something happening?" Ziva asked as Noah walked over to her.

"Noah wanted to go out to dinner." Daisy said, and Ziva looked at Noah. He smiled at his mother, holding up a rose.

"You said once a month." Ziva shook her head. After taking Noah once to a fancy restaurant and he being on his best behavior, they had made a deal. Once a month, they would go out to a nice restaurant and have dinner. Daisy ended up coming along each time, and Noah always ended up being the waiters favorite little kid. Smiling, Ziva looked down at her work clothes.

"I cannot go in these." She said, and Noah jumped for joy. As she walked into her room, Ziva got a sudden gut feeling. It was odd for them to just plan something like this, and not tell her in advance.

She had a feeling something _was_ going to happen.

* * *

**A/N: **Don't forget to leave me a lovely review, and if you haven't read the spoilers (and you want to know) don't forget to tell me.(:


	13. Forever 21

**A/N: **If anyone watches any sort of news, they might know that there are many storms ravishing the west coast of the United States. I happen to be in one of those storms right now. Well, this is just rain, but the past couple of days have been "storms". The last one knocked down a tree and cut power lines. Powerlines that bring power to my house. So, I didn't have power yesterday. I was freezing without heaters. :/ I typed half of this before I decided that my laptop was going to die and needed to be shut off.

Oh, and the reviews on the last chapter? AMAZING! I believe I got over 40. I was quite impressed with you reviewers! Thank you so much.

I hope you enjoy this chapter. I am going to type a couple more chapters, if my sick nose and stomach agree with me. I feel like I'm going to toss the cookies ha.

Any mistakes I blame on the rain, and a stuffed up head.

* * *

Ziva carried Noah inside, watching as Daisy's headlights made a map across the wall. She was almost sad Daisy couldn't come up, but at the moment Ziva had to focus on Noah. She shut the door behind herself, locking it with a quick flick of her wrist before making sure Noah wouldn't fall.

"Mommy." Noah said as he felt his bed beneath him. Ziva smiled, kissing his head. She tucked the blankets around him, watching as he kicked his shoes off under the blankets. Ziva grabbed them easily, smiling one last time.

"Good night Noah." She said, and he fell asleep. Ziva shut off his light before exiting out the door. Quietly, she headed for the living room where a couch and some TV awaited her. She tried to keep her mind off their dinner, busying herself with getting a blanket. After ten minutes of watching TV however, her mind drifted to the restaurant.

"_Mommy, I want to sit near a window." Noah said as they entered, his hand clasped in Ziva's. Ziva nodded, looking to Daisy to see if she objected. When she saw that Daisy didn't, she nodded to the hostess. Soon, they were seated near a window, Noah looking outside at the sprinkles that were threatening to produce rain. Ziva didn't mind much, as it was October and getting close to winter. _

"_What can I get you to drink tonight?" The host, who had mentioned her name was Candy, said. Noah perked up. He always loved to order everyone's drinks._

"_Mom wants green tea, Daisy wants a Shirley Temple, and I want water." Noah said, and Candy smiled at him._

"_Why, aren't you just cute." She said before disappearing. Ziva smiled at Noah before looking down at her menu. She was contemplating choosing between a chicken sandwich and the fettuccine alfredo when Daisy slapped her menu down. Ziva looked up, and saw that Daisy looked like a child caught doing something wrong. Looking to Noah, she saw that Noah had the same look on his face. _

"_What?" Ziva asked, looking between them. She saw Noah look to something, and she followed his gaze. She felt either surprised or set up, but she didn't have time to asses if Daisy's shock was genuine or not. _

"_My personal favorite is the alfredo." Tony said to the table of people. Sighing, Ziva looked at Daisy. _

"_I didn't know." Daisy said, looking at Noah. Noah shook his head._

"_It does not matter. We are still going to eat here." Ziva said, closing the subject._

_Throughout dinner, however, Ziva would look around the restaurant and sometimes she'd see Tony entertain a group of people (telling them the veil was superb even though she knew he'd hate it) and she couldn't help but wonder how long he'd been working there, at a restaurant. How long had he not been doing what he loved; poking and nosing into people's lives._

_--_

Daisy walked through the mall, looking for the perfect pair of leggings. It was getting cold, but she still wanted to wear her favorite dresses. She had only two, but she still loved them. At the moment, she was debating between two stores, and thinking about which would have the cheapest prices. She kept walking, coming to a large sign that told her where everything was. She was searching for Forever 21 when she heard a familiar voice.

"It's on the second floor, next to that gothic shoe place."

She turned around to see Tony standing there, holding a bag in his hand. Daisy smirked, finding this funny for some reason.

"I thought the only way men went to the mall was if their girlfriends dragged them." Daisy teased, and Tony shrugged.

"I don't fit into my old jeans." He said nonchalantly, and Daisy nodded. She looked back at the map and saw that Tony was indeed correct. When she turned around, he was smirking.

"Getting some warmer clothes?" He asked her as they moved away from the sign and towards the escalator. She shrugged, looking at her phone quickly.

"I need some leggings." As a look of confusion crossed Tony's face, Daisy shook her head.

"Very thick tights." She said slowly, and he nodded with understanding.

"I knew that."

Daisy laughed slightly, finding that Tony was good company. As they stepped onto the escalator, Tony stood backwards next to Daisy.

"Why are you doing that?"

"Why aren't you doing this?"

Daisy glared at him before looking up again. She couldn't wait to see him fall backwards.

"How's Noah?" Tony asked suddenly, causing Daisy to look at him. She shrugged, wondering if Tony knew they were at the restaurant last night.

"He's the same as always. We go out to dinner once a month and we did that last night."

"I know. I saw." He said. He put his foot up, and walked backwards off the escalator. Daisy shook her head at him, wondering how long it took to perfect that.

"Well, he had fun at that. He's probably still asleep."

"Are you going to see him today?" He sounded nervous, and Daisy stopped.

"I might." Daisy said, not entirely sure if she was going to be called by Ziva. She currently didn't have a case at work.

"If you do, would you tell him I said hi?" Tony said, and Daisy smiled. She nodded before patting Tony's stubble ridden cheek. He grimaced as she pulled at the beard he was beginning to form.

"I'll also tell him you still need to shave."

"He'll like that."

--

After Tony left, Daisy got all she needed and then some. After some deep thought, she decided that she was going to go see Ziva and Noah. As she drove over, it started to rain and she knew that Noah was going to be happy. He had always loved rain.

"Mommy, it's Daisy!" Noah yelled as he opened the door. He quickly hugged Daisy's legs before letting her enter the apartment. Daisy saw Ziva sitting on the couch, a book in her lap. On the ground in front of her, Noah's toys were splayed about. Daisy could see that, instead of the small cars and trucks all over the place, the coloring book and animal flash cards were spread about.

"Hello Daisy." Ziva said, looking up briefly. Daisy put her shopping bag down, reaching inside to pull out what she had gotten. Ziva looked up at the sound of the bag, and she got up to see. Daisy finally found what she was looking for, and she handed it to Ziva.

"It's... well, it's like a shawl but it's not so old." Daisy said, and Ziva raised an eyebrow.

"Old?"

"It's... yeah, you get what I mean." Daisy said, and Ziva nodded.

"It is soft." Ziva watched as Daisy cut the tag with her teeth.

"And it's for you." Daisy said. Ziva looked at the shawl again, and then she tore off the sticker. She put it over her shoulders, slipping her arms through the sockets.

"Thank you." Ziva said, looking at the article of clothing. Daisy smiled.

"Tony said you'd look good in it."

Ziva looked up, confusion across her face. She crinkled her nose, and Daisy shook her head at her.

"He kind of found me there. I thought he had left when I saw him again at a different store and he said that that shawl would look good on you. I was thinking about it for me, but then I thought he was kind of right." Daisy said, and Ziva nodded. She turned around, moving towards her room. Once she got there, she took off the shawl and looked at it.

She felt a small smile cross her face, and in a hurry, she hung the shawl up.


	14. Green Tiger

**A/N: **I am sorry for not updating, but I have the High School Exit Exam coming up and all I get is homework about it and yeah. Pressure and all. It's a lot. :/

Thanks for everyone who has been reviewing. I love that I got a whole bunch of reviews earlier today because FF wasn't working again. I hate that.

Oh, and sweet holy moly did you see Jet Lag? Wasn't it GREAT!? :D

* * *

Ziva sat at her desk, tapping her pencil. She wasn't really needed, as there was no case. McGee sat behind Upham's desk, and Upham was sitting at his desk. Gibbs was nowhere in sight, so the team was relaxing. They had all finished their paperwork, and were wondering what to do. McGee looked up, glaring at Ziva's tapping pencil.

"How's Noah?" McGee's question caused Ziva to stop tapping. She looked up for a moment, and then she started tapping again.

"He is good."

"How is he being affected by Tony?" Upham asked. He had known Noah for two years, and that kid had captured his heart the second Upham met him.

"He seems to be taking to him." Ziva said slowly, tapping her pencil harder. She missed the look of confusion passed between McGee and Upham.

"How, exactly?" McGee asked, and Ziva almost slapped her head. They were completely unaware that Tony and Noah spent last Saturday and well, today, together.

"They have spent some time together."

McGee quirked an eyebrow, his curiosity spiking. Standing up, he walked around Upham's desk and stood in front of Ziva's.

"I know, I should have told you. However, for the time being, I felt it was not necessary." McGee nodded, understanding. He was slightly sad that he didn't get to know, but for now, he would keep that to himself. Upham watched as McGee walked back over behind him, picking up the magazine he was flipping through.

"I had a conversation, though, with Tony about when would be the best time to explain."

"What?" Upham asked, taking his pen out of McGee's hands. Ziva watched as McGee fake slapped Upham.

"We had a conversation, yes. About Noah's interest in why Tony left."

"And?" McGee said, leaning towards Ziva. Upham was doing the same.

"We agreed that, before we ever do tell Noah, you should know. The team, that is."

McGee looked down at Upham. The rookie didn't exactly know how much the loss of Tony had been, to everyone. Sure, there was Ziva's obvious struggle, but the rest of the team had somehow struggled with comprehending the events. They all also had to deal with a pregnancy that no one had seen coming.

"I think that is rational." Upham said calmly. McGee was glad the younger agent had spoken up; otherwise it would have been an awkward silence.

Ziva checked her watch, realizing she had time. Daisy had agreed that at six, whatever Tony and Noah were doing would cease and they would come home. She would most likely leave by then. She looked up to see McGee and Upham looking at her expectantly. Sometimes, she found their alikeness weird.

Sighing, she put her thoughts together. She made the sentences in her mouth, and took a deep breath.

"We both messed up."

--

Noah was running around excitedly, his hands holding the prize he had just won. Maybe it was the slight heat that was an odd break from the rain, or possibly the cotton candy he had eaten earlier, but Noah was all over the place. Tony had a hard time keeping up with the excited three year olds, and eventually he stopped running. Noah stopped his running as well, looking back at his father. He expected Tony to keep up, but he suddenly remembered what Daisy had told him once.

"_Noah, as you get older, things get a little bit harder. Not when you are my age, but more like your mom's age."_

Walking back to Tony, Noah put the stuffed football on his father's knees and smiled.

"Getting old?" Noah watched as Tony grinned, or maybe smirked, at him. He lifted Noah up off the ground, and winked.

"Never." Tony said, standing up and slinging Noah over his shoulder. Noah laughed, patting his dad's back like he had seen Princess Fiona do in Shrek. Although, Tony wasn't green and Noah certainly wasn't a princess. Noah shook his head. No, he wasn't a princess.

Noah squealed as Tony walked through the people at the fair, and Tony only grinned at the looks he was getting. He saw another man doing the same thing, but the girl was screaming. Tony had to smirk at that.

"Where are we going?" Noah asked, and Tony took Noah off his shoulder. He held Noah against his hip, his hand under the tykes legs. Noah seemed comfortable there, and it wasn't going to pull on Tony's neck.

"We are going to find Daisy. I think she went to play a game."

"I want to play another game." Noah said, and Tony looked around. They were in the arcade area, surrounded by games. Pulling out a five dollar bill out of his pocket, Tony pointed.

"Which game?" He asked, and Noah pursed his lips. Finally, he pointed to something that had cars.

"That one!" He yelled, and Tony moved over to it. Soon, Tony smiled at the simplicity of the game and how it would be easy for Noah to play. Sitting him down, Tony paid the carnie and sat down to play against Noah. That way, Tony thought, if either of them won Noah could get a prize. The carnie told them how to play, and Noah smiled in anticipation.

"Ready? 3, 2, 1 squirt!"

Tony waited until Noah had aimed perfectly before lining up his squirt gun. Noah's car ended up beating his, and Noah jumped for joy. The carnie laughed at him.

"If you win again, you can get a bigger prize."

Somehow, Noah convinced Tony to pay five more dollars and they were playing again. Noah won again, and the carnie smiled kindly at Tony.

"Which one do you want big boy?" The carnie asked Noah. Noah looked over the prizes. He wanted the dog, but at the same time, he liked the tiger. Finally, he looked to Tony.

"Which one daddy?" Noah asked, and Tony shrugged.

"I like that tiger." Tony said, and Noah smiled.

"I do too!" He said, pointing to the green tiger.

After collecting his prize, Noah tucked it under his arm. Tony picked him up again, noticing that since it was getting dark, a bigger crowd was filling the fair. He pulled out his phone and handed it to Noah.

"Call Daisy, please?" Tony said, and Noah nodded. He moved the tiger and Tony took it under his other arm. Noah dialed slowly, and then he put the phone to his ear.

"Daisy, where are you?" Noah said, and Tony watched as his face changed. He nodded, and then looked at Tony.

"She's at the animal pens. Can we go there?"

Tony looked at his watch, checking to make sure they would have enough time. He wasn't going to break Ziva's "curfew" when he had miraculously been able to take Noah out in the first place. Seeing they had an hour, Tony nodded.

"Yes, we can." Noah's huge, excited smile made Tony's heart ache.

Stomaching the feeling, he turned around and walked towards the barns.

--

It was exactly 6:30, the time that Daisy said they would be home by, when there was a soft knock at the door. Ziva got up, fixing her. She had been dozing on the couch, and her hair was all over the place. She pushed it out of her hair, annoyed as it irritated her eye. She opened the door, and smiled at the sight of Daisy.

"Hey Ziva." Daisy said, walking in. She had a bag in her hand, but Ziva didn't get time to stare at it. She found herself somewhat mesmerized by the sight of Noah and Tony walking towards here. Something inside of her stirred. Something that she had thought dead. It was like her pregnant day dreams all over again. She blinked, and she realized that Noah was talking.

"And then I won this tiger. Isn't he pretty!?" Noah said, and Ziva nodded.

"Yes, he is very pretty. Head inside, I need to talk to Tony."

Tony looked up at the sound of his name, and he hugged Noah before the toddler ran inside.

"Hey, Daisy! Do you have any more coffin candy?"

Ziva looked at Tony, confused. Tony shook his head.

"You can ask him later." Tony shifted slightly, pulling his jacket tighter around his body. He was waiting for Ziva to speak, as she seemed eager too.

"I believe we should talk… about what happened." Ziva said slowly, trying to see if those words worked. Tony bit his lip, looking at his watch. He took a deep breath, looking Ziva straight in the eyes.

"I can't. I have work in twenty minutes."

Ziva felt body deflate, in a feeling that she hadn't felt in a while. Nodding, she started towards the front door.

"Oh, never mind then."

Tony caught her arm, making her look at him.

"I didn't say I didn't want to. I said, at the moment, I can't. But, I would like to talk about what happened. I'd like to try to work things out. I'd like to keep seeing you and Noah. I _want_ to." Tony said, pulling a receipt out of his pocket. He hurriedly wrote his number there and handed the paper to Ziva.

"I want too." He said slowly, and Ziva nodded. Tony smiled, looking at his watch again.

"Crap, I can't be late again." He said, letting go of Ziva. He started towards the stairs when he stopped, looking back.

"Good night Ziva."

Tony was halfway down the stairs when he realized Ziva had been wearing the shawl he'd made Daisy pick out.

He smiled the rest of the night.


	15. Long Overdue

**A/N: **Again, sorry for the wait. I really, really, hate school. Like, really.

So, I went to Ikea today. And, because my sister had to type something on my laptop, I ended up typing most of this chapter in the car because I had time. Oh, and because my face is swollen, I had nothing better to do than to distract myself from the pain in my jaw than type.

I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I loved typing it.

* * *

Ziva sat at the café table, her legs crossed and a cup of tea in her hand. She was tuning the buzz of people around her out while she drank, keeping all of her attention on her cup. She could see some people on laptops, utilizing the free wifi. She took another sip before she turned her body towards the door, holding her cup in her lap.

She saw Tony walk through the door, pulling his hood off his head as he scraped his shoes off on the rug. Even though the day before had been sunny, now it was raining. Tony shook his head a little before walking over to the counter. Ziva observed him, watching his actions closely. He smiled that signature smile to the barista before leaning against the counter. Ziva took a sip of her tea, turning back towards the table. She knew Tony had seen her, and soon he sat down at the table across from her. He let his body fall against the brick wall.

"Hi." He said, taking a long drink of his coffee before putting it down.

"Hello. Did you walk here?" She asked, and he shook his head. Small water droplets fell onto the table.

"No, but I had to park down the street a way." He explained, and she nodded. She had the fortune of finding a space not far from the front door.

"How's Noah?" Tony asked as he put his elbows onto the table, leaning forward. Ziva rested her chin in her hand.

"He was sleeping when I took him over to Abby's. Abby likes to take him out for fun days, and McGee usually joins them. Once, Upham went with them and they visited Ikea. Noah came home with a new lighting fixture for his room. A nice one too." Ziva said, and Tony grinned.

"I love Ikea. It's a wonderland of treasure and amazement." Ziva nodded, sipping her tea.

"I do not believe we came here to talk about Ikea."

"No, we didn't."

They were silent for a minute, and they both found it slightly uncomfortable. Finally, Ziva sighed.

"I know we were both wrong. Together, we tore us apart. Nonetheless, I think that now is better than never to talk about what happened." Ziva said, and Tony bit his lip.

"I couldn't have said it better myself." He mumbled, and Ziva tried to suppress her smug smile. Shifting, she crossed her legs in a different direction.

"Would you like to start?" She asked, and he took a deep breath. He entwined her fingers.

"I know that… it bugged you that we didn't move in together that quickly. I'll admit, I was hesitant about that. I was hesitant about everything, actually."

"But why?" Ziva interrupted. She bit her lips after that.

"I guess I didn't want to mess things up. I know that sounds stupid, but I didn't want to do anything to mess it up. Call it a classic fear of rejection. I know now that it was a stupid fear. We'd been friends for six years; close friends I'd like to think."

Ziva nodded, telling Tony she understood.

"And, not only that, but I wasn't sure where we'd go after that. I've never been opposed to marriage, but it never worked for my dad. I didn't want to do what he did."

Ziva stopped him there by putting her hand onto the table, and then putting the other on top of that.

"I do not believe you would have ended up like your father. Yes, you are both similar in ways, but when I met him, he seemed to be stuck in the 'playboy phase'. Sometime after you rescued me from Somalia, I noticed you had dropped that persona. It really showed when your father was here."

Tony smiled at her sincerity, finding it refreshing. Ziva continued.

"I also believe there was nothing you could have done to cause me to leave." She said it with a smile, and Tony half smiled back.

"I know that now. It didn't take me long to realize that after I left."

The mention of leaving stopped their conversation flow, and Ziva took a deep breath.

"We should probably talk about that." She said, and Tony laughed.

"We should definitely talk about that."

They both took a drink of their drinks before looking at each other.

"I take fault for that."

Tony was slightly shocked at her admission, and he was even more shocked when she hung her head. Sure, he had always known she was the main reason he left, but he'd never expected her to say it out loud.

"You don't-"

"No, I do. I got emotional and… needy." She said the last word as if it were trash, or poison. Tony knew it was hard for her to say. He'd never associated her with being needy.

"I was angry because you seemed distant, and I was sad because you never expressed any pleasure to talk about our relationship and where it was going. I know that is not your style, to say, but I believe talking is beneficial. This could have been avoided if we had just… talked."

Tony nodded, agreeing with the last part of her words.

"I do take fault for most of what happened. If I had not overreacted-"

"Ziva."

Ziva stopped talking, wondering why Tony interrupted her. She then realized that her hands were shaking on the table. She quickly made to take them off the table, but Tony prevented that. He put his hands over hers, stopping their shaking. His hands were still larger than hers, and as always, warmer. She hadn't forgotten the feeling of his hand on hers, but she hadn't expected it to cause her stomach to flutter. She'd thought herself to be above those kinds of feelings.

However, as her stomach filled with butterflies, she thought otherwise.

"I am fine." She said, trying to take her hands back. Tony didn't let her, holding her wrists with his fingers.

"There is no reason to be nervous." He said quietly, and she took a deep breath. He was right. There was _no_ reason to be this nervous.

"I am fine." She said again, and he reluctantly let go of her hands. She quickly sat on them, and Tony laughed.

"You did say, though, that you were angry because I seemed distant. I should take responsibility for that. I was scared to push you away. And I know there was no possible way I could have, but still." Tony said, and Ziva nodded. She took another deep breath.

"All of this could have been avoided." Ziva mumbled, and Tony nodded.

"I couldn't agree more."

Tony took another drink of his coffee, finding the cup to be empty. He set it onto the table with a empty sound, and Ziva put hers next to his. She noticed that the café was not as full as earlier, and they seemed to be alone at the front end. She could hear people behind her, talking quietly.

"I never stopped thinking about you and… well, then it was just a baby. But, I never stopped. At first, I was angry at you. I would constantly play the fight over and over in my head, wondering how you could say things like that. But then, after about two months, I realized that the stuff I said was just as bad. And then I just felt regret. I couldn't believe I'd actually left, and I wasn't sure what to do."

"It took you three years to figure out what to do?" Ziva asked, and Tony laughed.

"No, not that long. Actually, after a year, I knew I wanted to go back, but I wasn't sure what you would do. I then decided that I wanted to see some places, and… well. The rest explains itself really."

"Where did you go?" Ziva asked.

"I visited New York, and thought about what you'd say as I walked down Broadway. In New Orleans, I thought about how amazing it would be to there during Mardi gras with you. When I went to Las Angeles, I imagined you in a bikini." Ziva smirked at the last one.

"Everywhere I went, something reminded me of you. Or of how I left you with a child to care for. I eventually came back to DC, and started working at a restaurant. It wasn't law enforcement, but hey. I had to make some money. And then, one day, I saw you. And I saw Noah. And I couldn't help myself. I followed you home one day. I'd drive by and think of you. I saw Daisy with Noah at the merry-go-round. I guess… I guess I just missed you guys."

Ziva almost spoke, but it seemed Tony had more to say.

"I never stopped. I never stopped wondering, worrying, hoping, caring. I always wondered what you were doing, or how you were doing."

He paused again, looking around. He was looking towards the counter when he spoke again.

"I never stopped loving you."

Ziva watched Tony closely, not sure herself what to say. She wished there was more tea in her cup. She needed a distraction. Tony turned back around, looking straight at her. He smiled before jiggling his cup. She smiled back.

"I… I do not know."

Tony nodded.

"I didn't expect the same answer." He said as though it wasn't a big deal, but Ziva knew it was something of a deal. She reached over and touched his shoulder.

"I worried." She said, and he smiled. He got up and took their cups with him. When he came back, he didn't sit down.

"I have to go to work." He said and she nodded. For some reason, she felt sad. Standing up, she smiled at him.

"I am glad we spoke."

"Spoke more than angry words." Tony clarified. Ziva nodded at him, grabbing her shawl. Tony smirked at it.

"I see you like the shawl." Tony said, and Ziva glared at him. She put her jacket over her shawl, zipping it up while glaring at Tony.

"Good bye Tony." She said. Tony caught her arm before she ran away.

"I want to work on this. I want to spend more time with Noah. I want to spend more time with you." Tony said quietly, his voice just barely tickling Ziva's ears. Ziva nodded.

"I think Noah and I would like that."

"And I know things won't be all daisy's and perfume for a while." Tony said, causing Ziva to nodded. She began to walk away, but stopped near the door. She turned around, and ran right into Tony. He grinned at her.

"Yes?" He smirked, and she found herself unwillingly smirking back.

"Noah would like to spend the day with you again. He told me right before I dropped him off with Abby." She saw the smile at the mention of Abby, and went forward.

"I would like to spend some time with you and Noah… at the same time."

Tony's genuine smile gave Ziva the answer she didn't need to hear.

--

Ziva sat on the couch with Noah in her lap as he showed her the book he got with Abby. Ziva was sure there were many more gifts he had gotten while with Abby, and she was waiting for them to emerge from the woodwork.

"Did you have a good day?" She asked, pushing his hair back with her hand. He smiled up at her, causing her to smile as well.

"Yes! I always have fun with Abby." Noah said, squirming and getting off Ziva's lap. He disappeared, and came back with another book. This one had more words and fewer pictures. Ziva smiled. She lifted Noah up off the ground, balancing him on her hip.

"Did you have a good day with daddy?" Noah asked, and Ziva smiled. She walked towards the kitchen, kissing Noah.

"How do you feel about spending a day next week with Tony and mommy?"

Ziva's question caused Noah's face to light up, and Ziva knew the answer was yes.

* * *

**A/N: **This is not over yet. I know where this is going, amazingly. I just... have to work it out on paper. After the exit exam. I'll try for new chapter by end of week. I promise!

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review.


	16. Definition of Fine

**A/N: **Okay, so I guesss I owe you an apology. I am sorry for not updating for SO long. However, I do blame school on this. I have been trying, TRYING so hardly to get this updated. I have been focusing on keeping my grades up at passing, and above, and focusing on New Orleans in about sixteen days? Something like that. Gahh. Anywho, I hope you haven't forgotten what was going on. If so, go read. If not, then go ahead and read the chapter. OutCold knows the troubles I had with this chapter. I've been blocked for SO long on part of it. The ending, I couldn't get my fingers to type.

**Disclaimer: **Do not own NCIS or anything affiliated with it.

* * *

McGee watched from his desk as Gibbs and Ziva walked down from MTAC, where they had had a meeting with Vance. Their newest case, one that had popped up out of nowhere, had them confused and disgusted. The brutal nature of the case was what disgusted them. The amount of stab wounds and burn marks on their victim had McGee looking for a trash bin.

"I do not see how this will ever work." Ziva seemed intent on making a point, and McGee could see the stress on her face. Gibbs shrugged.

"That doesn't matter." Gibbs snapped.

The bullpen was silent as Ziva walked over to her desk, looking peeved. This case was stressful and high profile, causing them to snap at each other a lot. Upham was hiding, most likely with Palmer playing cards as usual, and McGee was contemplating going down to see Abby. When Gibbs got up to get more coffee, McGee took the opportunity. The second the elevator shut, he got up out of his desk and made his way to Abby's lab. Ziva watched him go, glad for the silence.

She pulled out her phone, looking at the numbers. She wanted to call Noah, and ask him how he was. It seemed only logical to her. She hadn't been home in two days. She had been at work, trying to figure out this case. Daisy had brought him by; though she hadn't had much time to spend with him. Gibbs had found something else to bark at them about.

And Gibbs being in a bad mood made no one else's lives easier.

Ziva sat back in her chair, watching the search on her screen. She could feel the stress knotting in her neck and back, and she massaged her neck. Once this search was over, she didn't know what needed to be done. Abby was running most tests on what little evidence they had.

The elevator dinged, and she looked up. She didn't see anyone, so she melted back into her chair. She shut her eyes and let her mind go blank. She had been trying to meditate in the mornings, after she went on her run. Or, rather, whenever she remembered to go on her run.

"You should go on a walk."

"What the-"

Ziva jumped up in the air, completely caught off guard at the sudden arrival of Tony. Why, how, or even when he got there was beyond her. At the moment, she was more focused on killing him with her gaze to ponder anything.

"Sorry, should have said something when I showed up."

He was sitting at Upham's desk, playing with a pencil. He looked right at home, but Ziva knew he must have been slightly on edge.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, and he smiled.

"Well, I went to see Noah. Actually, I called Daisy and asked her how Noah was. She said he was missing his mother. I didn't even have to ask to know that you had a demanding case."

Ziva shook her head, letting her head fall into her hands.

"This is ridiculous." She whispered, and he hummed.

"You should go on a walk."

She looked up at him, gauging the eagerness in his body. Finally, after a staring contest, she gave in.

"Fine."

Tony bounded up happily, and Ziva let a small, relieved smile cross her face.

--

It was slightly rainy outside as they walked out of the small café near the naval yard. Ziva and Tony were engaged in a conversation, neither knowing how it had started. Ziva had her jacket pulled tightly around her body, keeping whatever warmth she had in. Tony wasn't wearing a jacket, which concerned Ziva, but she kept quiet as he spoke to her. He seemed exceptionally animated, and alive.

"Where did you go?" The question popped out of Ziva's mouth before she could stop herself, and Tony stopped talking mid sentence. Looking at Ziva, Tony thought of what kind of answer to give. Surely, it wouldn't be easy to explain. But then again, did she want an honest answer?

"What do you mean?" Deflect.

"As in, when you left, where did you go? What did you do?"

Ziva had stopped moving. She waited patiently for Tony's answer, and by the looks of it, he wasn't going to get away without giving one.

"I went, wherever." Tony started walking again, making Ziva follow. The rain earlier had deterred people from going out, and the sidewalk was empty besides a few people.

"I first went to the west coast, and spent some time in California. Mostly the north part, never down south. I visited San Francisco. From there, I went to Washington, saw Forks."

Ziva laughed at him, remembering long ago when he told her where the author of Twilight set her book. Tony smiled at her, before going on.

"I just went… places. Didn't matter where. I just saw places, and visited monuments. I saw Mt. Rushmore. Impressive stuff, right there. New York was fun. The big lights, the flashy cars, the people. I met some very interesting people there, whom I got to know very well. It was a nice time."

Ziva nodded her head, somewhat feeling awful about the whole ordeal. Sure, Tony saw the country and did what he wanted to do. He had fun, but she felt awful that he was alone during all of his travels. He did them out of misery, and sadness. She frowned at herself, turning away from Tony. She began walking again, moving down the sidewalk. Tony caught up with her, keeping with her pace. They stopped at an intersection, and Tony turned to Ziva.

"Noah told me he wanted to see a movie; I can't remember the name, this weekend. And since he hadn't seen you in two days, he asked me if I would take him."

Ziva smiled at the half question, half statement. She nodded, looking at her watch.

"I think that would be great. Even that request will not allow me to leave. Gibbs is on a roll."

--

Ziva was finally able to go home, after Upham's blabbing gave McGee an idea that lead to a suspect which lead to the case being solved. As everyone packed up their things, Ziva saw Upham smiling to himself. She knew he felt proud that he had given McGee the idea, and she was proud of him.

As she walked up to her front door she heard Noah's giggling, signaling that he was home from the movies with Tony. She unlocked the front door and even before she put her back pack down, Noah had his arms wrapped around her legs.

"Mommy!" He yelled, his green eyes shining up at her. He reached up towards her, and she lifted him up in a second. He wrapped his arms around her neck, nuzzling his nose into her hair.

"I missed you." Ziva said, rubbing his back. She could feel his smile in his cheeks, and smiled herself.

"I missed you too mom. That was a long case." He said, looking her straight in the eyes. She smiled, noticing Daisy sitting on the couch reading. She had her headphones on, and she looked lost in another world.

"Who were you giggling at?" She asked Noah, and he pointed to the kitchen. Ziva looked, and saw Tony sitting at the table. He waved at her, a meek smile crossing his face. She pursed her lips, an uneasy feeling in her stomach. Maybe she was over reacting, but she felt uneasy with Tony being in her kitchen. She put Noah down, missing the look of confusion cross his face, and walked towards the kitchen.

"I was just going to leave." Tony said, sensing Ziva's unease. Ziva nodded slightly.

"See you later." She said as he let himself out. Daisy looked up, noticing the moods in the room. She watched Tony leave, and saw Noah pulling on Ziva's leg. She pulled out a headphone, listening as Ziva spoke to Noah.

"Are you mad at dad?" Noah asked as Ziva lifted him up. Daisy knew better than to listen in, but she was curious.

"No. Why would you think that?" Ziva said, leaning against the counter. Daisy looked down at her book.

"You are always tense around him." Noah said, sounding more than ten times his age.

"I am not always tense around him."

"Are you still mad at him?"

Daisy looked up from her book, interested in the answer to the question as well. Ziva paused, looking between her son and babysitter. She bit her bottom lip slightly before letting out her breath.

"No. But I am not completely fine with him either."

Noah looked at his mother. He had an insightful look on his face, and he reached up to touch her face.

"He seems fine with you."

Daisy almost laughed at Noah's bluntness. Ziva smiled slightly at the statement, before pushing herself off the counter.

"Time for bed." She said, and Noah pouted.

As Noah changed into his pajama's, he looked at Ziva.

"When do you think you will be fine with him?"

Ziva lifted Noah up and placed him in his bed. He pulled the blankets up around his chin, waiting until his mother responded to lay flat. She grinned at his stubbornness.

"I don't know honey."

Noah laid down, smiling at his mother.

"I love you mommy." He said, causing Ziva's grin to turn into a smile.

"Good night Noah."

* * *

**A/N: **Oh, by the way, what do you guys think about that lawyer and Gibbs? I've been debating it in my mind, and I'm not enjoying it. I'm not sure. Tell me what you think.

In a review. :)

I hope to update again, soon. Very soon. Now, don't take my word on that. I could be lying. For all I know, I'll get blocked again. :P

Thanks, Izzy.


	17. Oh, What A Wonderful World

**A/N: **Now, first off, I'd like to aplogize for the waits. I am currently in school, so I think that is a good enough excuse. :) And, since it is the weekend.... I just feel weird with these long breaks in my stories. I used to update like once a day... oh, those were the days.

Okay, so this chapter.... I hate most of it. I'm not even lying. I hate most of it. I wanted to start over when I was towards the end, but then I was like.. I already did that twice. So, this is what I produced. I hope you enjoy it. I had some fun at some parts, especially with adding in some more Upham, whom is going to be called Charles from now on. Along with Tim. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize. I own Charles Upham, who is my own personal creation. :) Oh, and Daisy girl-with-no-last-name.

* * *

Charles Upham sat at home, tapping his pencil. He always did the Sunday crossword, and today was no exception. He usually finished before lunch, and he hoped today wouldn't be an exception. He was dreading a call from Gibbs, detailing only an address and the necessity to wear boots. It _had_ been raining on and off since Thursday. Sighing, he put down the crossword and went to get some water. He was pouring the glass when the phone rang.

"Upham." He answered, cradling the phone between his shoulder and ear.

"Hey, it's McGee." Upham sighed, thankful it wasn't Gibbs.

"Hi Tim. What's up?"

"Ziva called, and said that Noah was expressing his desire to see Abby, you and myself. She said she'd love it, because it would give her time to clean the apartment and do laundry."

Upham nodded, looking at his crossword.

"Sure, I'd be up for it."

--

Ziva was halfway getting Noah dressed (he was feeling rowdy this morning) when someone knocked. She grabbed Noah around the waist and carried him next to her hip as she answered the door. Abby was grinning, and her face lit up at the sight of Noah dangling from his mother's side.

"Noah!" Abby said, taking him from where he hung and wrapping him up in her arms. Charles and Tim entered after her, each smiling at Ziva.

"Why were you holding him like that?" Tim asked, and Ziva rolled her eyes.

"He is feeling hyper this morning."

"Good!" Abby said, her eyes sparkling. Noah was giggling as she gave him a raspberry on his cheek. She looked at Ziva.

"It's okay if we take him to the pet store, right? I want to buy him a fish."

Ziva shook her head with a smile, knowing that any fish Noah got would live for the longest time. Noah was great with keeping his things in order.

"Sure, why not." Ziva said, and Charles laughed.

"I always loved having a fish." He said, and Tim laughed.

"What happened to it?"

"Ran away while I was at summer camp." Charles said, sadness crossing his blue eyes. Noah looked up at him, frowning.

"Fishes can't run away." Noah said matter-of-factly. Everyone nodded.

"No, they surely can't." Abby said. She turned to Ziva.

"What are you doing today?" She asked, and Ziva shrugged.

"Cleaning."

"Ahh." Abby said, looking between the two men next to her.

"See you later then." Tim and Charles said at the same time, and Ziva smiled as they disappeared out her door. She walked into the kitchen, intent on cleaning every single surface. Daisy cleaned as they made messes, but she didn't extensively clean the tile and the oven. Sighing, Ziva got to work.

--

Ziva dancing through the kitchen as she mopped the floor, the music from the stereo keeping her working. She didn't know how long she'd been cleaning the kitchen, but she knew she was almost done. After this, she was going to clean the living room and then the bedrooms. Grabbing a towel, she stood on it and moved around the kitchen, wiping up the water. When she finished, she put the towel in the hamper and the cleaning solvents away. She moved into the living room, taking the polisher with her. She cringed at the state of her hard wood table, but soon it was shiny and pretty.

"There." She said to herself as she finished. Taking a second, she looked towards the bedrooms. She wasn't ready to tackle her room, nor Noah's. Taking a deep breath, she decided that right now was the best time to take a break. But then she remembered the awful mess of clothes in Noah's room, and decided that instead of stopping, she needed to keep going.

Walking down the hall, she frowned at all of the clothes on the floor.

She'd blame Gibbs. Gibbs, Vance… anyone who was a part of that damn case.

--

Charles was the youngest of the team, so he was put in charge of running around with Noah. Abby was watching with her sunglasses over her eyes, not at all worried about the pair. Now, if she was running around the park with Noah, she'd be worried. Her shoes were not meant for the bark. And McGee… well, Tim had a mishap, which involved a low bar and an almost broken nose. After that, Charles and Noah spent a good deal of time playing at the park, and Noah enjoyed it all.

"Noah is such a happy kid." Abby said to Tim, looking at him. He was right next to her, his sunglasses on. He was paying attention to his iPhone, browsing through apps. He nodded though, looking up just in time to see Noah catch Charles and tag him.

"He and Charlie get along great. I bet if Palmer were here, they'd be having a jolly good time."

Tim laughed, gently nudging Abby.

"I think it's great though, that they get along well. Ziva does have a lot of energy, but I think sometimes Noah likes being able to wrestle Charles or me to the ground."

"_Wrestle." _Abby said, laughing. She once had walked into her living room to find Noah sitting on McGee's back, yelling victory.

"Though, at the same time, it sucks that it's not Tony…." Tim trailed off, and Abby nodded. Looking around the park, she noticed that Noah was lying in the sun, his small body flat. Charles was sitting next to him, breathing deeply. He smiled at Abby, giving her a thumbs up.

"Okay, Noah's tired. Time to go to home." Abby got up, and Tim followed her dutifully. He didn't want to be left behind again, like last time he was on his iPhone. Charles handed Noah to Abby, where he curled into her arms and blinked.

"I'm tired." He mumbled. Abby nodded, handing the keys to Charles.

"You drive."

--

They arrived at Abby's apartment in time for lunch, and when Noah finally woke up and got off the couch, he started helping Abby cook.

"Macaroni is done!" Abby called, and Tim walked into the kitchen.

"Charles fell asleep."

"Oh well."

They ate in silence, Noah not even trying to fill the silence. He didn't usually like silences and tried to start a conversation. Though, now he was too tired, and kept to himself. Tim smiled at Abby as she nudged him, both of them watching Noah eat. They were both remembering the time Ziva was so tired she fell asleep at her desk with her head on her take out box. Tim was also remembering how Tony had gently pulled the box out from under her head, but he didn't tell Abby that part of the story.

When Noah finished, he put his bowl in the sink and looked at Abby.

"Can I go read?" He asked, and Abby nodded. She watched him go, grabbing for her phone as it rang.

"Abigail." She answered.

"Abs, do you have Noah?" It was Gibbs.

"Yes, why?"

"Bring him and whoever else is with you to the hospital." He cut out for a second afterwards, and Abby could hear him talking to someone.

"What happened Gibbs?" She said, getting worried. Tim saw this, and turned to her.

"Tony collapsed at his work, he's in the ER now."

"How did you get the call?" Abby said, grabbing Noah's coat. It was starting to get cold again.

"He had my card in his pocket. Just, get to the ER Abby."

Gibbs hung up, and Abby looked between the three people in front of her. When had Charles woken up?

"What's going on?" Tim asked, worried.

"Tony's in the hospital. He collapsed."

"Daddy's in the hospital?" Noah asked, grabbing at Abby's leg.

"Yes, he is. And we need to get there fast."

--

Noah nearly jumped on Gibbs as he finally found him, sitting in the emergency room waiting area. Gibbs lifted Noah off the ground, setting him in his lap.

"Gibbs, what's wrong?" Noah asked before Gibbs could open his mouth.

"Tony has malnutrition." Noah paused a beat.

"What?"

"It means that he is not eating the right foods he needs to stay healthy."

'Like apples?" Noah asked, and everyone nodded their heads. Gibbs grimaced.

"He needs more than some apples to make him feel better."

"Have you called mommy?" Noah demanded, and Gibbs shook his head.

"Then call her." Noah said, causing Gibbs to smile.

"I'll call her." He said, and Noah nodded. He crossed his arms, a worried look crossing his face.

--

Ziva walked into the bathroom, humming to herself. She couldn't remember who (though she was sure it was Tony) had introduced her to Louis Armstrong, but right now she didn't mind. What A Wonderful World echoed through the apartment, and she swayed as she walked to the hamper to put some towels in it. She put the towels in it just as the phone rang, and she danced into the kitchen to grab it.

"Hello?"

She listened as Gibbs spoke, and dropped her outstretched arm at his words.

"Is Noah there?" She asked, relief washing over her as Gibbs answered.

"I'll be there soon." She said. She hung up, looking around. Suddenly, everything looked dirty. She felt a pull in her chest, but dismissed it. She ran to her room, pulling off her sweats and pulling on jeans. She changed her shirt, pulling her shawl over the new one. She didn't bother fixing her hair, ignoring the feeling rising up in her chest. Grabbing her keys, she exited the apartment just as the song was finishing.

_And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.  
_

_

* * *

_

**A/N: **Seeing as I have been listening to What A Wonderful World all day long, I thought it was appropiate to put it in here.

Oh, by the way, this weekend (Well, Thursday through Monday) I will be in the wonderful city of New Orleans. I will try to update Wednesday so that I make up for not updating on Sunday.

Reviews would be appreciated.


	18. Hello, Apathy

**A/N: **First off, you are not dreaming. I am actually updating this story. After over a month of block, which was HORRIBLE, I finally got myself to figure out what I was typing and get my fingers to work. Plus, the addition of yet another story to my list helped get this off the ground. (Claps for My Manic & I). If it wasn't for the fact that I got over my whole block with that and another oneshot, this probably would have stayed.

Which makes me sad.

Now, I don't blame you if you have to go back and read the last chapter to get this chapter. To get myself to write this, I re-read the whole story. Worked. I finished this morning, and finished this when I got home from school. I had about 200 words typed, and it's now almost 2000.

**Disclaimer: **Any mistakes on this chapter are my own, as I need a beta to read my stuff before I post, but am too lazy to go find one. Also, any OOCness I apologize for. But, just.... think of the situation. Thanks.

* * *

_One Month Later_

Ziva sat in bed, Noah next to her. She could hear him talking to himself as he looked at the new picture book Abby had bought him. This one had some words in it, and Noah was determined to teach himself them. Even when Ziva had offered to help, he covered his ears and started to hum. It made Ziva laugh.

She listened for any sounds from Noah's room, but heard none. She looked at Noah, seeing that he was wrapped up in his book, and moved off the bed. She moved out of her room and down the hallway to Noah's room. She knocked on the door, listening for any sounds. When she didn't hear any, she moved down the hall to the living room. She moved into the kitchen, and found him.

He was sitting at the table, looking at the fridge. Ziva walked over and sat in front of him, noticing that he had more color.

"Tony, you need to go to sleep."

Since Tony had been released from the hospital (after receiving treatment for malnutrition and orders to stick to a better diet), he'd been staying at Ziva's. That way, during the day Daisy could keep an eye on him, and he could be in a clean environment. When he'd fallen, he'd cut his hand open. The cut was deep and long, and had been wrapped up. Daisy changed the wrapping when needed.

"I'm not tired." Tony said, his voice cracked. Ziva got up, getting a glass and pouring Tony some water. She handed it to him, and he took a drink.

"You need your sleep." Ziva said, walking over to him.

The doctor had told Ziva that Tony would seem a little listless. In Ziva's opinion, he was very un-Tony like. It made her worries worse, and it wasn't helping her.

Grabbing his arm, Ziva made him stand up. She walked him to Noah's room, where he was sleeping. He looked at her before he shut the door, something in his eye. However, Ziva dismissed it before going back to her room.

"Mommy, is dad alright?" Noah asked the second Ziva shut the door. Ziva walked over to the bed, crawling up so she was next to Noah.

"No, not really." Ziva said, cutting off when the phone rang. She looked at the clock, slightly growling.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ziva," McGee said. "How is Tony?"

Ziva looked down at Noah, deciding he was just asleep enough not to comprehend.

"He looks better in his face, but he is very un-Tony like." Ziva said, and she heard McGee hum.

"How is Noah?"

Ziva looked down at her son, smiling when she saw that his face was lying on his book. She would un-stick him when she got off the phone.

"He's okay. Daisy has told me that sometimes during the day, Tony and Noah will watch movies and Tony looks like he's actually interested."

"You can take Tony out of the movie, but you can't take the movie out of Tony."

"What?" Ziva asked incredulously. McGee started to laugh, and Ziva had to chuckle as well.

"I'm not quite sure." McGee said between laughs, and Ziva shook her head.

"I should go McGee. Noah is already asleep."

"Alright. See you tomorrow."

Ziva hung up, putting the phone back on its charger. She turned off her light, pulling her blankets up to her chin. She looked at Noah, watching him sleep. She pulled his face off his book, and put the book on the ground.

Sighing, she turned over and tried to go to sleep.

--

Tony was sitting at the table, staring off into space.

He wasn't sure if he wasn't hungry or not. He knew he needed to eat.

Ziva was still asleep, so he didn't want to make a lot of noise. Standing up, he moved over to the fridge. He opened it up and looked inside, nothing catching his attention and making him hungry. He didn't really know what he wanted to eat. What he needed to eat.

Since his arrival in Ziva's house, it seemed all the food in the fridge was full of vitamins. There wasn't a carb in the house. The only bread that was present was wheat, and Tony wasn't a big fan of that.

Grabbing the orange juice, he poured himself a glass. He put the jug back, taking a sip. He looked at the fruit bowl next to the toaster, deciding on a banana. He was slowly peeling the banana when Ziva walked into the kitchen, dressed in her pajamas.

"Morning Tony." She said, and he meekly smiled.

"Morning." He said, plucking the end of the banana off. Ziva watched him eat; glad she didn't have to get him to eat. She watched him closely, and looked away when he looked up.

"Do you have to work today?" Tony asked, and Ziva shook her head. Gibbs had told her the night before, during a very short phone call, that she didn't need to come in. Tony nodded, getting up. He put his glass in the sink, close to Ziva. This close, Ziva could see the slight sag to his face. When Tony left the room to go sit in the living room and look through Noah's collection of Disney movies (Ziva knew it was one of the only things _Tony_ still did), Ziva let out a long breath.

This was beginning to wear on her. She wasn't used to this kind of Tony. She didn't know how to act around him. The usual Tony was easy to be around, because they were at ease with each other. In one months time, Tony had gone from the norm to something Ziva had never seen. Abby had noticed it too, and she told Ziva. Even Gibbs mentioned that Tony was different.

Ziva walked out of the kitchen, grabbing her laptop off the shelf in the living room. She looked down at Tony, watching as his eyes went over every movie Noah had. She then moved away, down to her bedroom. Noah was awake, taking a bath, and she had some alone time.

She'd been writing down things she noticed about Tony for the past three weeks. Each was just something that struck her as odd, and something Tony didn't do usually. Pulling out her notepad, she looked through the symptoms.

She had a gut feeling, and for once, she hoped she wasn't right.

After some searching on Google, she finally got her answer. She wasn't going to self diagnose, but she doubted a doctor would tell her any different. Getting up, she walked out of her room and down to the living room. She held her list in her hand.

"Tony." She said when she saw him sitting on the couch, the opening of Casablanca playing. Abby had bought it for Tony, hoping to cheer him up. Ziva didn't know if it did or didn't. Ziva sat down on the couch near Tony, watching as his eyes stared off into space. He wasn't even watching the movie.

"Today would be the four year anniversary."

Ziva let all of her sentences she's prepared in her head fly out the window. She looked at Tony.

"Of what?" She said, confused. He turned to look at her, and she found herself uncomfortable.

"Of when I left. Of our huge fight."

Ziva swallowed, finding this all too hard to comprehend. She had completely forgotten. With everything going on, she'd even forgotten her birthday. And her birthday was usually how she remembered their fight. The fight was exactly one week after her birthday.

"Oh." Ziva said meekly, fiddling with her list. Taking a deep breath, she remembered something she'd read while researching on Google.

"Is something wrong Ziva?" Tony said, and Ziva looked at him. He was watching her, and she realized her hands were shaking. Taking a deep breath, she nodded. Then, as an afterthought, she shook her head.

"I don't exactly know how to say this." Ziva said, and Tony tilted his head slightly.

"Tony, I think you have depression."

There was a beat of silence, and then Ziva saw something flash across Tony's eyes.

"And, it kind of makes sense. A month ago, you were perfectly happy and fine. And then, now…" Ziva trailed off, knowing that Tony didn't need any further explanation. He was looking at his hands.

"I also think that part of the reason you lost so much weight is from depression. You got worse as time went on."

Ziva was beginning to feel awkward talking to a silent Tony. He wasn't even looking at her now, rather at the front door. Ziva reached over and took Tony's hand.

The feeling that had been popping into Ziva's chest, the feeling that had been stirring since Tony arrived, finally popped and she suddenly felt warm. And then, she felt immense sadness as she looked at Tony. She hadn't felt immense sadness in years. She'd felt complete emptiness, never sadness.

"I'm sorry." Ziva said quietly, squeezing Tony's hand. He looked at her, and he looked confused.

"Why?" He whispered back, his voice filled with an emotion Ziva couldn't place.

"I do not know." Ziva said back, watching Tony. In an action that surprised her, he reached over and hugged her. She slid across the couch, ending up right next to him. Ziva realized she was crying, and the sadness in her chest seemed to lessen.

"All I know is that I want the old you back." Ziva said, and Tony's arms squeezed her.

"Me too."

* * *

**A/N:** I hope this does not get dragged out again. If you feel like, if it's been longer than two weeks of no update, leave me a PM about it. I get so distracted with my actual life (I know, who thought writers had one of those?!) that I forget this stuff. But, I always check my e-mail so.... that's that. And again, any OOCness.... just remember the situation.

Reviews would be greatly appreciated.


	19. Christmas Presents

**A/N: **This is the last chapter of Apathy.

Any mistakes are my own.

Read longer author's note at the bottom.

Word Count(without A/N's): 3,858.

* * *

One Month Later – Middle December

Ziva sat on the small couch, her feet curled underneath her. She had a book in her lap, but she wasn't reading. The TV was on, but she wasn't the one watching it. The two people on the couch were watching the TV, and she found herself very happy about that.

Tony was laying flat on his back, his head resting on pillows, with Noah at his side. He had been the person to suggest watching a movie, and Noah had jumped right on the opportunity. Lately, if any opportunity came along in which Noah could spend with Tony, he'd jump on it. From things like watching movies to playing outside; Tony was getting better and Ziva could see it.

It all started with Ziva's self-diagnoses of depression. From there, Ziva forced Tony to go see Ducky. It took a while, but soon he and Tony were talking. Ziva didn't sit there with them, as she had to go to work, but when the work day was over, she walked down to find Tony and Ducky talking. Tony even had a slight smile on his face, which made Ziva's day. She had gone home with a new feeling inside of her, and she was sure that Tony was beginning to feel better.

After the first time talking with Ducky, Tony asked Ziva to drive him to NCIS again. It shocked Ziva at first, but she drove him anyway. Soon, Tony started to visit NCIS not just to see Ducky. He visited Gibbs, whenever Daisy offered to drive him. Tony would spend a lot of time with Gibbs, and slowly Ziva could see that bond being repaired. He was working on all of his relationships, and he even got along with Upham. Tony called him Charlie, which even caused Gibbs to crack a smile.

The most noticeable change was Tony's weight. Slowly, his eating habits had gotten better and he began eating more. It may have only been a month, but Ziva could see it in his face that he was gaining weight back. Ziva would sometimes come home to find Daisy sitting at the table and Tony making dinner.

A week earlier, Daisy had asked to sit down with Ziva and talk. Ziva didn't know what to expect, but was pleasantly surprised when Daisy told her the things she'd observed. It seemed that Daisy thought Ziva really didn't need her around as much, and that with Tony becoming more involved she could only come every now and then. Daisy also mentioned she had increasing stuff to do with school work and college, and Ziva understood. Daisy now visited every other day, and usually did homework. Seeing as Daisy had independent study instead of full time school, she had no real schedule.

Now, Ziva looked down at her book. Lying on the page, she had a piece of paper and pencil. She was beginning to think about the holidays, which were two weeks away. She knew she wanted to have a small Christmas at home this year, unlike the past years. Usually, Gibbs or Abby invited her and Noah over. This year, Ziva had politely turned down their offers and decided to stay home over the holiday. She hadn't celebrated Hanukah in four years, and though she felt bad, she found herself not minding. She had informed Noah about the holiday, and neither made a big deal about it. Noah never remembered anyway.

She had already brought presents for Noah, and everyone was going to bring over their presents for him on Christmas Eve. Ziva also had a present or two for Tony, but they weren't big deals. She wanted to make him feel included in the celebration. All the presents were stashed away in the storage bedroom, far in one corner. Since Noah frequently went in there, Ziva had locked the door. He'd complained at first, but when Ziva told him that it was not negotiable, he'd nodded and went on with his day.

"I want to be a sloth." Noah said suddenly, and Ziva looked up. Tony looked down at Noah, smiling.

"Why?"

"Because then no one could blame me for being so slow."

Tony and Ziva laughed at him, and Noah looked between them.

"What?" He questioned, and Ziva shook her head.

"You are far too handsome to be a sloth." She said, and Tony nodded. Noah beamed. He turned back over, snuggling into Tony's chest again and turning his attention back to the TV. Tony smiled slightly at Ziva before doing the same.

"Is there any specific food you would like for Christmas dinner?" Ziva asked, looking down her list. When she looked up, Tony was biting his bottom lip in concentration.

"Not that I can think of." He said, and Ziva nodded. He had already looked over her list, so he didn't need to ask.

"Do you have carrots on there?" Noah asked, and Ziva smiled

"Yes, I am making glazed carrots just for you."

Noah smiled, mouthing yes to himself. Tony shook his head.

"You are a strange kid." He said, and Noah looked up.

"What's wrong with liking glazed carrots?" Noah questioned, and Tony smiled.

"I thought three year olds weren't supposed to like carrots."

"I'm more than three and a half." He said, and Tony laughed.

"I forgot, when is your birthday?" Tony teased, and Noah frowned.

"Dad! I've told you! It's on June 9th."

"Oh right. I must be getting old."

"Yeah." Noah said, glaring at Tony before laying back down. Tony looked at Ziva, and when he saw her amused smile, he smiled back.

* * *

Ziva watched as Tony followed Noah across the parking lot, his little snow shoes making his run more of a waddle. The snow had been falling since the beginning of the month, and Noah loved it. Ziva watched as Noah hid behind their car, and Tony acted as if he couldn't find the toddler. Tony smiled back at Ziva, jogging over to her and taking the cart.

"I'll push it." He said, and Ziva shrugged. She didn't mind. She was beginning to freeze, and she wanted to get into the car.

"Mom, unlock it!" Noah yelled from his hiding spot, and Ziva obliged. Noah climbed into the car just as Tony reached it and opened the trunk. Ziva was about to help put groceries away when Tony gently pushed her away. She glared at him, and he jerked his head to the car.

"I have it." He said, and she crossed her arms. The wind pushed on her back, and she groaned. She quickly turned around and climbed into the car, glad for its safety from the wind. She started the vehicle, instantly turning the heater on. Noah had himself buckled into his seat, and he smiled when his mom looked at him.

"It's cold." He said, and Ziva smiled. She reached under the passenger seat, pulling out the blanket she kept there. Noah gladly took it, laying it over himself carefully. He was tucking it into his car seat when Tony got into the car. He shook his head, pulling his hood down.

"Gosh, it's freezing." He said, turning the vents to him. Ziva backed out of her parking spot and made her way out of the parking lot. Tony turned around enough to see Noah, and the two began talking. Noah rubbed it in Tony's face that he had won the race, and Ziva saw Tony act disappointed.

"Dad, when we get home can we play in the snow?"

Ziva was about to interject when Tony spoke.

"It's a little cold buddy. Besides, I think that we should help mommy put away groceries."

Ziva kept her eyes on the road, but let herself smile.

"Okay. I am not carrying them up the stairs though!"

Tony and Ziva both laughed, and Noah watched them. Tony turned back around, settling into the seat. The streets were empty of people, but full of cars as everyone tried to stay warm.

"I think it's going to be a white Christmas." Tony said, and Noah sat up straight.

"We can make snowmen then, right?"

"You can make as many as you want." Ziva said, watching Tony carefully. Tony nodded, and Noah cheered from the back seat.

When they finally got home, Ziva handed the front door keys to Noah and he ran up the stairs to unlock the front door. Ziva and Tony grabbed as many bags as they could handle and followed him, each thanking him as he held the door open for them. They dropped the bags in the kitchen, and Ziva looked at Tony. He looked cold and tired, so she stopped him from moving back outside.

"Stay here and get warm. I have it." She said, ignoring any protests from him. She quickly got all the rest of the bags inside, smiling when she brought the last one inside. She locked the door behind her, shaking off her coat. She hung it up before walking into the kitchen to find Noah and Tony arguing over where stuff went. Ziva decided to watch, covering her mouth as laughter bubbled up.

"No, dad. The orange juice has to go here because it's a bigger jug." Noah argued, pointing to the spot in which he always put the orange juice. Tony looked at it, and then pointed to the door.

"It would fit better there, and then we could put more in the fridge."

Noah crossed his little arms, and stared at his father. Tony stared back.

Ziva knew that Tony put the most effort into his time spent with Noah. She once came home to find Noah asleep on the couch, and Tony lost in another world at the opposite end. Sometime in-between talking to Ducky, and spending some time with Gibbs, Tony had started to put an effort to have energy around Noah. And, now, as Ziva watched them from the doorway, she saw that maybe it was helping more than she knew.

The smile that was spread across Tony's face looked effortless and genuine.

* * *

Tony woke up slowly, aware of something moving in the apartment. He sat up carefully, looking around the dark room. Noah was asleep at his side, as at first he had refused to sleep what so ever and then he fell asleep in Tony's lap.

Tony gently got out of the bed, stretching before grabbing his sweater and walking out into the hall. He followed the noise, and stopped when he saw Ziva hugging Abby at the front door. Ziva shut the door, grabbing the garbage back and walking over to the Christmas tree. Tony moved so he could still see her, and watched as she pulled the brightly wrapped presents out of the bag. There were about a million presents already under the tree, and Tony knew that Ziva hadn't pulled the presents out of spare room yet.

"I can see you standing there." Ziva whispered, and Tony half smiled. He walked over to where she sat, and sat down. He grabbed a present out of the bag, and chuckled.

"This one is for you."

"Abby always makes a point of wrapping my presents in the brightest wrapping paper."

Tony nodded, smirking at the neon yellow with black striped paper. He placed it on the ground, stacking it with the rest of the presents. Ziva finished pulling the presents out, and huffed.

"Noah is going to be so happy." She said, looking over all of the presents. Tony nodded, looking over the presents. Ziva had grouped all of Noah's presents closest to the window, as there was more space that way. Tony noticed a present was for him, and he picked it up.

"That is from McGee. He always wraps his presents in newspaper, and Noah always reads them before tearing them apart." Ziva said with a chuckle, and Tony grinned slightly. He then noticed that there were more presents for him, piled next to the presents for Ziva. He put the present in his hands down, and bit his bottom lip.

"I will be right back." Ziva said, getting up and placing her hand on his shoulder before disappearing down the hall. Tony knew she was getting more presents, and he decided he better get out of her way. He moved over to the couch, noticing there were two cups of hot chocolate on the coffee table. One was only half-full, and Tony knew it was Ziva's. The cookies Noah had put out for Santa were sitting next to the coco, some of them gone. Tony grabbed a sugar cookie and took a bite, settling into the couch. Ziva walked back in, hands carrying two very large bags. She plopped down onto the floor and began putting presents away.

"You may have the extra coco." She said, looking over her shoulder at Tony. He took the cup, wrapping his fingers around it and took a sip. Ziva finished putting out the presents and put the bags in the garbage before joining Tony on the couch. She picked up her mug, taking a sip before sighing.

"Something wrong?" Tony asked, looking over at her. She shook her head, relaxing against the pillows.

"No. Something is very right through." She said, and Tony nodded. He looked at the Christmas tree, and then back at Ziva. He was about to say something when a small voice caught both of their attention.

"Mommy? Daddy?"

Ziva got up instantly, walking across the room and down the hall. Tony could hear her feet walking swiftly, and then he heard nothing. She reappeared a couple seconds later, Noah half asleep on her shoulder.

She plopped down onto the couch again, letting Noah fall into a comfortable position.

"It's Christmas." Noah mumbled, and Ziva nodded as she rubbed his back gently.

"It sure is." Tony said. Noah looked his way.

"I wanna open presents." He said the words slowly, as he was fighting sleep.

"How about when you are more awake?" Tony offered, even though he had an itch to open some presents. Noah groaned. He shut his eyes again, and within seconds, he was fast asleep. Tony smiled at Noah, reaching over and touching his hair.

"Do you want to take him?" Ziva asked, and Tony shrugged. He put his cup down on the table and took Noah from Ziva. Noah groaned before snuggling closer into his father's body. Tony looked over at Ziva to see her smiling, and what looked like tears in her eyes.

"Ziva."

She shook her head, and turned away.

"Sorry." She said, and Tony touched her shoulder.

"Apologizing is a sign of weakness." Tony stated, and Ziva laughed. She didn't say anything, and Tony squeezed her shoulder.

"Something's on your mind. What is it?" He asked, and she turned to look at him slightly.

"He loves you. A lot." She said, referring to Noah. Tony looked down at his son, wrapping his arms tighter around the sleeping child.

"The feeling is mutual."

* * *

Noah woke up with a start. He quickly opened his eyes, and looked around. He was trying to find the clock, but couldn't seem to get his eyes to un-fog. Blinking, he rubbed his eyelids and then huffed. He looked up to see that he was in his father's lap, and he turn looked down to find his mother with her head on his father's leg. Smiling, Noah slowly got up off Tony's lap. He looked at his parents, and then carefully walked into the kitchen to see the time on the microwave. Ziva had said that any time after 6, they could open up presents.

The microwave said 6:23.

Noah walked slowly back into the living room, debating waking his parents up or not. He then remembered the presents, and ran over to the tree. He soon realized that all of his presents were stacked on one side, and he started to count. He got to ten and then stopped. He didn't have enough fingers for this. Turning around, he saw that Tony was awake. He was also looking down at Ziva, with a look on his face. Noah had seen it before. On Uncle Tim's face, when Abby had fallen asleep at her lab. Noah had been there, as he'd requested, and seen the look. Later, when he'd asked his mom, she'd only smiled.

Now, Noah walked over to his parents and put his hands on Tony's unused leg.

"Daddy, can I open a present?"

"Wait until Ziva wakes up."

Noah looked at his mom, impatient. He saw his mothers mouth twitch, and then he smiled.

"Mom, you're awake."

Ziva smiled, opening one of her eyes. Tony laughed at her, and Noah scowled. He crossed his arms.

"I want to open presents!" Noah said, and Ziva smiled.

"First, bring Tony's and mine over here. Then you can open up all of yours."

Noah hurriedly got all of his mothers, then fathers' presents over in front of the couch. Noah was quick at pulling presents out from around the tree, and suddenly there was an explosion of wrapping paper. Tony had to smile as Noah opened them all on his own, making noise as each was unveiled. Ziva chuckled at his enthusiasm, and that was when Tony realized her head was still on his leg. Tony moved his hand to her back, and sat back to watch Noah in his flurry of happiness.

By the time Noah was done opening presents, it was almost 8 and he had a very large pile of mismatched wrapping paper next to him. He turned around where he sat, and smiled. He got up, walking over to where his parents were.

"Are you guys going to open your presents?" He asked, pulling a piece of wrapping paper that was stuck to his foot and throwing it into the pile of wrapping paper.

"Yeah, we'll eventually get to it."

Noah gave them a look, grabbing each of them a present and handing it to them. Tony smiled, noticing that Ziva still hadn't moved her head off his leg. She also was opening her present at an odd angle, but Tony didn't think about it much longer. Tony carefully began to open his present, not knowing what to expect. What he found, however, made him smile.

* * *

Ziva and Tony watched as Noah played with his new Lego toys, and Noah made sure they opened their presents. Ziva was on her last, and Tony was already finished. He had a small stack of clothes, movies and a hand written card from Noah. Noah had also gotten him a watch (but Tony was convinced that Ziva had bought it so that Noah could give him it).

"Ahh, thanks honey." Ziva said, reaching out towards Noah. He walked over and kissed her cheek, before running right back to his new toys. Ziva looked up at Tony, and suddenly she jumped up.

"Oh!" She said, running out of the room. Noah looked at Tony, and Tony just shook his head. He stood, finally able to feel his legs. He'd been sitting for too long, and even though he had enjoyed sitting with Ziva, he also enjoyed feeling his lower limbs. He walked into the kitchen, pouring himself some juice. He walked out just as Ziva walked back into the room with a small present.

"I forgot a present." She said, and Noah looked up. Ziva shook her head at him, and he went back to playing. Tony walked over to Ziva, sipping on his juice.

"I forgot one of your presents, Tony." Ziva said, holding the present out for him. He took the present, smiling as Ziva took his glass.

"It's small." He said, and she shrugged. She watched him pull the paper off, a smile spreading across her face. Tony wasn't sure what to expect, and as he opened the small box, he was slightly confused.

"A key." He said, and Ziva nodded.

"For here. You do not have your own, and since… well, I only guessed you would be staying here with Noah and I…" She trailed off, forgetting her train of thought. Tony was staring at the key, a strange look in his eyes. He smiled, looking up at her. She smiled back, not sure how to react. She wasn't sure what he was thinking.

"You want me to move in here?" He asked, holding the key up in front of his face. He was examining it, and Ziva chuckled.

"Why else would I give you a key?" She said, and Tony shrugged. They were quiet for a moment, and they both looked at Noah as he laughed. He had a large tower of Lego's built, and he'd knocked them over. He was giggling slightly to himself, and Ziva had to laugh at him. She then looked back at Tony.

"I do not want you to miss any more of his life. I have realized that in the time you've been here."

Tony looked straight at Ziva, knowing it was a weighted statement. Something else was in her mind, but she wasn't going to say it without him pointing it out. So he did, and she crossed her arms. She bit her lip slightly, before offering him a small smile.

"And, because I have missed you too."

Tony smiled as he reached forward and pulled Ziva into a hug. Ziva smiled, wrapping her arms around his waist and gently slipping Tony's glass onto the table behind him.

"I've missed you too."

Suddenly, small arms were wrapped around their legs, and they both looked down.

"Can you guys come play with me?" Noah asked, smiling up at them. He was well aware that they were in the middle of a serious talk, and he had planned it this way. Tony told him one minute with his finger before looking back at Ziva. He squeezed her shoulders, and she looked at him.

"Thank you." He whispered into her ear, through her hair. She smiled, squeezing him.

"Merry Christmas. Now go play with Noah while I make breakfast." She said, smiling at him before letting go of his waist and moving into the kitchen. Tony looked over his shoulder at her before looking across the room at Noah. The toddler was smiling excitedly at his father, and as Tony walked over to sit on the ground, he decided that he couldn't remember a Christmas morning that was better than this.

Not even the one when he woke up to find Ziva naked on top of him, a sly grin on her face.

Not even that.

* * *

**A/N: **So, another happy ending to a somewhat sad story. I'm a sucker for happy endings. I couldn't end this on a sad note even if I tried. Anywho, that is it. I finally finished it. I was talking to someone last weekend (prob. Hayley) and I just randomly said "I'm going to just type one huge long chapter and end Apathy" and that is what I did. It's not really long... but it's longer than most.

Anyway, I just want to say thanks for the amazing reviews I got on this story, and thanks for following this AU, OOC story. I can honestly say that stories where I have OC's which are kids are my favorite, and I love them. They are my favorite to write, and to think about, and so sad when they end. So, I'm going to say good-bye to Noah and then probably go read Forever Tomorrow to smiled at Annie. :(

Btw; FF decided to take away my way of editing. If I put in two dashes (--) anymore, it disappears, so if you read anything older of mine.... that is why it all runs together. I'll fix it in the summer, when I feel like it. I sent them an e-mail, but I have no clue. I just want my editing marks back. :(

I'd love (wink wink) to get up to 500 reviews on this last chapter. It would kind of make the ending of my school year better to know that I finally finished this, and got 500 reviews. :)

So, get to it. Remember, last chapter. This has the most alersts I've ever gotten, so I know who's reading.

Izzy.

P.S: Who saw NCIS last night? Holy...


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